Its a hard one. I agree, Lead by example and use examples.
I know for myself ,that I have decided if my children are falling into these issues and I see it happening, I will tell my story as it applies to what is happening for them.
I know as mothers we want to be special,to be seen as strong. At least my children see me as I can do no wrong! Which is wonderful considering,( I am lucky at this point.)
What I willnot do is what my Mother did.
At the age of 21, it came out or my mother realized she had been abused by her dad's friends, so she came running to me to see if it had happened to me, and if I new anything had been done to my sisters. The focus was totally on her recovery. We stood strong as the daughters and did nothing about our selves. nor were helped by our mother.
Just because I am in recovery of my own damage does not mean my children have not been harmed and need help too.
My oldest daughter is 23 and she has lived through a lot of my unhealthy coping. I am using my relationships and experiences to help her relate. and to let her know she is able to change. I do not hide my CSA nor my problem with drinking nor do I hide her father issues or family issues. I want her to understand its okay and to be aware of the harmful coping skills she learnt from me.
My children that are at home are 7 and 8, girl and boy. Allready I seemy daughter as a needed child. and my boy he tries to be so strong. Some of the society ideals are already coming into play.
As such I have been hyper sensitive to these issues because of all my FOO, CSA, and infidelity and IC and all the rest, So both my BH and I are trying to take what felt, saw, heard andsome of the communication skills and putting them into practice in our home.
Whether this works any different will see in about another 12 years.
Just be there for your kids, lead by example today and from past experiences and be truthful. Life sucks some days. ut tomorrow will allways be better. This generation of kids expect so much and expect it now, that it just adds to any of there eviroment upbringing that may gave them some not so healthy life skills.
THey do have choice though just like we did,but maybe they will have a little more informationto make their decisions on because we shared.
Don't know if this makes sense.