SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

idkam posted 2/24/2014 14:25 PM

My doctor said my well woman exam came out normal but i did have HPV virus, really?? So can this lay doormat for over 4 yrs?? I'm sure i got it from the Ex arsehat or the guy i messed around with after my divorce...i can't believe my current SZo would slerp around hes not the type but you never know right? There had never been a time when he's out of reach... He works 1 block from where i work...

Anyone out there dealing with this?? I have see the doc in 6 months..as far as my sec life she said there is nothing to be concerned about..

Should i be worried?

What say you?

Thanks

tushnurse posted 2/24/2014 14:35 PM

I say it's rampant, and that your current partner could have it, and have no clue that he has it, since there is no "routine" test for it for men, and it is essentially without symptoms in men.

I would certainly make sure that he knows you have it. If you had STD testing that was all clear after other partners, then I would say definitely from your current partner.

Amazonia posted 2/24/2014 18:45 PM

I've had it. My gyno told me it can be in your body up to ten years before you test positive.

Most women, especially young women, their bodies fight it off within six months or a year on their own. If your pap came back abnormal too, that would be more cause for concern, so good it was normal.

purplejacket4 posted 2/25/2014 01:20 AM

Most people have been exposed to it. If your doctor didn't seem concerned I wouldn't be. Many strains are harmless. If it is a high risk one he would have wanted to do a colposcopy.

idkam posted 2/25/2014 06:34 AM

Good information thanks.,, my SO and talked about it ladt night... He said well you know i havent slept with anyone inthe last 4 yrs. I wasnt worried about him bc he's never goven me any indication...he'a goibg call an set up an appt ASAP bc we will not be having sex until he gets checked out...

What if he's clear? Would that mean that i'm a carrier?

Amazonia posted 2/25/2014 07:15 AM

What I understood from my doctor is that just about anyone can be a carrier - whether or not they test positive. If it's lying dormant in your body, you can still pass it to someone else (while testing negative).

She compared it to a common/head cold, and said that an estimated 75% of sexually active adults get it at some point, and for most, they never even see it on tests because it clears up on it's own - much like a common cold does, even if you don't go to the doctor.

She also told me it's so common and so impossible to do anything about at the early stages (when for most people it clears up) that it's not even worth telling sexual partners about. Condoms don't protect against it. I have anyway, because it felt relevant to me, but none of the guys I've slept with since testing positive have really been overly concerned. It certainly hasn't stopped any of them.

Here is a resource that I found extremely helpful when I first tested positive:
http://www.cdc.gov/sTd/hpv/pap/default.htm

If you scroll down, you will see a detailed chart that explains what the various pap smear/HPV test result combinations mean. Hopefully this will be useful to you, as it was to me.

I know that it's a little freaky to find out about this stuff; the day I got the news I spent at least 30 minutes crying and hyperventilating in the ladies' room at the office, while two work friends tried to reassure me (both of them had had it in the past). I promise though, it'll be okay. Even in a case like mine, where it did eventually develop into precancerous cells (this is extremely rare!) the surgery to remove them was quick, painless, and covered by insurance. I'm happy to PM with you about more details if yours progresses, but it's extremely likely that six months or a year from now, it'll be gone, and you won't ever have to think about it again.

Good job to you and your doctor for getting tested! I have heard that some gynos choose to skip the test because the virus is so common and not a big deal, but it's better to be aware and keep an eye on it, IMO. That way you'll know when it's gone.

idkam posted 2/25/2014 10:36 AM

Ama, thank uou for this info snd link i will def check it out....i was eondering why doc assistant said sex is ok...she did say bc my pap was normal it didnt raise any red flags...

Thanks again everyone my nerves are calmer...

itainteasy posted 2/25/2014 12:07 PM

My OB/Gyn told me that HPV is the "Common cold" of STD's.

He said the only way you'll never get it is if you're a virgin who only slept with a virgin--and then continues to only sleep with virgins.

It's so common, almost everyone has it.

Livingalie2014 posted 2/28/2014 01:37 AM

My obgyn told me that 60% of women have this and are walking around with it. I had no idea.

Want2help posted 3/1/2014 18:43 PM

It has nothing to do with sleeping around. As mentioned here, it's a very common virus. Most people I have heard of (all women, as mentioned there is no test for men), have had the virus cleared out of their system by their own immune systems.

idkam posted 3/7/2014 12:29 PM

So i have a serious question..... can you and your mate still have oral sex?? I have 6 months before i go back to my doc but since she said she wasnt too alarmed bc my pap came back normal, i do not feel comfortable giving or receiving....what if my SO has it but since there is no test for men how would we ever know for sure....i'm sure tou can contract this orally, right?

Iwilltranscend posted 3/8/2014 12:03 PM

You ask great questions idkam. I am an MD who specializes in STDs. Like others have already stated, experts believe that almost everyone who has had sex, has been exposed. There are some studies that suggest babies born to mothers with HPV can contract HPV orally too. So, almost all sexual beings have had or still have HPV.

Yes, it can be passed through oral sex. Since there is not a test for males, your SO will never know if he has it now, but again unless he was a virgin, he has been exposed to it. The unknown is whether or not he cleared it already.

High risk HPV, ie HPV 16, has been isolated from throat cancer. However, throat cancer is extremely uncommon, so there must be other factors beside HPV that can lead to cancer. So, we do not counsel against oral sex for women who test positive or for men who have genital warts (caused by a low risk type of HPV).

HPV can also be transmitted via licking fingers that touched someone's genitals who had HPV.

I hope this isn't too confusing. But the bottom line is try not to worry! As long as your pap is normal, then you are fine. If you smoke, then quit because smoking keeps the virus around longer. You basically want your immune system to fight off the virus, so stay healthy.

MissMouseMo posted 3/8/2014 14:11 PM

I knew HPV was pretty well ubiquitous so I was glad to see all the facts and good vibes sent idkam's way...and I'm not really the prissy or squeamish type but:

"...we do not counsel against oral sex ... for men who have genital warts..."

Eww.

itainteasy posted 3/10/2014 08:53 AM

Dr. Iwilltranscend, I never even thought about the finger licking thing!

One more good reason to WASH YOUR HANDS ALL THE TIME!

idkam posted 3/10/2014 11:45 AM

Thanks Dr Iwill..... This virus is a bit confusing....the fact that men cant be tested for it is scary... Which means my SO and i could be reinfecting one another.... Why wouldnt docs worry about sores/wart on the penis? Isnt this a symptom of Herpies? So if we are still having unprotected sex and he develops a sore/wart on his penis and we think 'no big deal' its only HPV , but it turns out he has Herpies...its been dormant for last 4.5 years... Now what?

Let me guess...we both have Herpies.....orally and in our private regions...

Scary...

Iwilltranscend posted 3/13/2014 20:36 PM

Herpes and HPV look completely different, so a doc should be able to figure it out just by looking.

Good news is that there is a herpes blood test for men and women! The test can also distinguish between type 1 (usually mouth cold sores) versus type 2 (usually genital herpes).

Try not to worry about the HPV...

Amazonia posted 3/13/2014 22:16 PM

There are multiple strands of HPV. Some cause warts - which look nothing like herpes. Other strands can increase your chances of developing cervical cancer. The one that your doctor tests for is the latter. It has nothing to do with warts.

If you SO has a sore or wart on his junk, he should see his doctor as soon as possible, and you should not have sex with him until you know what's going on and have evaluated whether that's a risk you want to take.

I think you might want to spend some time researching HPV on reputable medical sites like WebMD or the CDC's website, because it doesn't sound like your doctor did a very good job explaining to you what you're dealing with.

ETA: Interesting (to me) side note, I have a good friend who is doing his dissertation with a research team at NIH studying instances of rectal cancer in homosexual men caused by HPV. From chatting with him, their preliminary findings are that it's extremely similar to the rates of cervical cancer and HPV in women.

[This message edited by Amazonia at 10:21 PM, March 13th (Thursday)]

idkam posted 3/16/2014 16:19 PM

Thanks Ama.

I haven't had a chance to speak with my doc. The assistant called me while I was at work and I couldn't talk at the time. I've been doing some research but as you can see I still have questions.

My SO and I were discussing HPV today and he and I are puzzled that there isn't a testing for men. He could have HPV but we will never know. Another puzzling thing is my pap smear was normal and there was no mention of HPV last year but this year I have it. My SO and I have been together for 4.5 years and neither of us have slept with anyone else.