Me - WW 40
Him - BH 41 (mpb1974)
2 Furrbabies - sweet cats
Met - 8/13/99
Started dating - 9/11/99
Moved in together - 3/03
Engaged - 6/5/09
Married - 8/21/10
D-Day - 1/24/13
Affair started 5/09
pizzalover - On Wednesday my BH was in a car accident. He was luckily not hurt...
Thank God for small miracles. Good to hear that your H was not hurt. Being injured with its attendant financial issues etc. would just have added more drama at a time when you needed it least.
And it was also good to see how you could find a positive in a otherwise negative experience. Sometimes hope springs from the smallest of things in our lives.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
It definitely helped us feel closer together. When you face something like that, it opens everything up and helps you to see what's important in life.
My H has held me often since then, and told me how he wouldn't know what he'd do if anything happened to me (I was the only injured one). Tragedy can't always be avoided, but we can learn and grow from them if we choose to. I'm happy to hear that it is helping you two move closer together.
In my case I was not the one to stray, even though I feel I like you based on these situations would've been justified, if that makes sense. When you feel like nothing you do or have done for the person you love is perfect or they'll get mad at every mistake you make you start to see your imperfectness through their eyes and develop low self esteem. You become overly judgemental of yourself and jump off the deep end eventually. Im sorry you were pushed so far that you felt like you had no recourse but to escape further.
I won't blame my BH for my infidelity, because I own it, but due to my poor boundaries I was not always able to stand up for myself. My BH sometimes feels like I paint him to be a monster who was always critical which he was not. I unfortunately am a person who doesn't derive self-esteem internally. I see myself through everyone else's eyes, and even though my BH would constantly tell me he loved me and I was beautiful, I still felt yucky about myself. All of my low self esteem comes from a younger age, but I can't remember when it started. My parents always supported in all my activities, etc and I knew they loved me. I'm obviously working hard to understand myself better.
Hufi, I loved the quote!
SadDone29 - Glad you and your family are okay.