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Karma and conflicted about it

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mof2 posted 2/24/2014 16:46 PM

My ex has not ever been the most responsible person. I helped him get a little more responsible after we got together. He had a DUI which he ended up getting his license suspended for, helped him get his credit up, and pay off back taxes. He walked out on me a few months after I helped him get his credit back up to 800...and that is now dropped back down because I keep getting collection notices. He has never changed his address on his driver's license or with the post office. Our state has started "warrant round-up". This last week I have received two notifications in the mail for warrants out for his arrest due to a parking ticket and a suspended license. Today I received a tollway invoice...apparently has moved to Florida. I think karma but then I feel bad and maybe I should tell his mom so she can warn him. My sister said "no longer your problem and stop holding his hand". Thoughts?

StillLivin posted 2/24/2014 17:01 PM

I would march my butt down to the DMV and report him as no longer living at that address...Oh, Wait, I did that already!
Maybe if he gets pulled over, he'll get an extra citation for not updating his driver's license....oh, he doesn't have one!

ETA: Sis is right, not your problem anymore. (((hugs)))

[This message edited by StillLivin at 5:06 PM, February 24th (Monday)]

Dreamboat posted 2/24/2014 17:06 PM

Your sister is soooo right. It is not your job to worry about him anymore. It is not your job to fix his indiscretions anymore. It is not your job to clean up his messes anymore. He FIRED you from that job.

When you get mail for him, cross out your address and write Return To Sender (and make sure you blcak out the bar code or it will boomerang right back to you)

And you don;t need to warn HIM, you should be warning the people who extend him credit that he is a major deadbeat!!

justjim posted 2/24/2014 18:08 PM

He fired you from your position as his responsible adult.

Respect his decision.

GabyBaby posted 2/24/2014 18:14 PM

Unless he's a complete and certifiable idiot (and he may well be), he should know that driver licenses need to be renewed at some point, parking tickets need to be paid, etc.

His actions (or inaction), his consequences.
Let the universe slap him upside his head like his mama SHOULD have done decades ago.

Tripletrouble posted 2/24/2014 18:19 PM

Hmmm.... that's not so much karma as legal consequences. Let him grow up. I expect more responsibility from my 16 year old.

phmh posted 2/24/2014 18:46 PM

Again, not your problem. NC.

And a book on co-dependency for you. I feel like you've been putting others before yourself for far too long (I was guilty of doing the same.)

After what he did to you, why would you even think of shielding him from less than 1% of the consequences that he deserves for his behavior?

tryin2bhappy posted 2/24/2014 20:32 PM

My WH was the same way. I was the responsible one and he absolutely wasn't. Ill occasionally send him a quick text letting him know he has some bills or a certified letter that I refuse to sign for but that's about it. Karma is a bitch and although part of me feels sorry for him the other half of me just smirks at what his life has become without me.

newlysingle posted 2/24/2014 22:29 PM

Yep, not your problem. This is his mess to deal with.

Kajem posted 2/25/2014 03:20 AM

He created this latest mess, he gets to fix it.

You need to take the time you spend thinking of helping him-doing something for you.

sparkysable posted 2/25/2014 07:34 AM

Warn him? Did he warn you that he was going to have an affair? No? Then I'd even go so far as to let whoever know that he has moved to Florida.

careerlady posted 2/25/2014 11:01 AM

Agree it's just consequences not karma. Write return to sender or give the mail to his mom if you're feeling generous. How did you know it was a warrant, was it on the outside? Hopefully you are not opening his mail since that's not legal.

mof2 posted 2/25/2014 11:10 AM

His mom lives 400 miles away. They were both postcards about "warrant round-up" and one said license suspension and the other parking ticket. I throw his mail away.

norabird posted 2/25/2014 11:52 AM

Into the recycling they go. Not your problem!

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