Well, it is now done. What was supposed to have been a 3 hour "unofficial" mediation turned into a 7 hour official mediation. We basically went back and forth only to come full circle back to what we originally agreed to prior to the mediation process. Thus, I just spent about $1400 in L and mediation fees for my STBXW to get on her soapbox and try and paint me asa bad parent. Oh, she paid her half of the mediation and L fees too. What a fvcking wste of money, but at least we didn't waste even more by making this D contested. So I guess it was worth spending.
We mediated from separate rooms after it became clear that STBXW was becoming unglued with emotion by having to stay in the same conference room with me and my L.
I basically stayed focused on custody and property, with most of the work on custody. I stayed away from responding to or delivering any personal attacks to and not discussing her affairs. It eventually came it that STBXW was worried about being replaced as a mom by the woman I am currently dating (we started dating after separation and I communicated to STBXW that I wanted a D). Never mind that I had just as much that same fear of being replaced by whomever one of the other OMs she was having relations with.
The Mediator did a good job relaying terms back and forth and keeping discussions focused on negotiating terms. My L and I could tell the mediator could smell the bullshit STBXW was trying to use leverage her position concerning custody. My L did a great job getting what I wanted.
I'm not sad tonight. I'm just glad this is finally on paper and the terms are binding, and we are all just waiting for it to be drawn up on the decree and requiring the judge's signature. WHAT A RELIEF!
I can also see the tears well up in my STBXW's eyes. She knows now I really have let go. I'm really moving on. Her cake-eating hopes have gone up in smoke. The karma bus is already rolling down her street.
I don't hate her, but I do feel sorry for her. The very thing she wanted out of all this is what I actually ended up getting. She will be the left holding the bag.