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User Topic: On the hunt for OM's BH and possible letter to OM
hurtingfool
♂ 42196
Member # 42196
Default  Posted: 4:18 AM, February 25th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Created a FB account so I could try and find her to let her know. I've got a couple of leads now. At the least have his family. As I am sitting here looking, I'm having the urge to get information out of him. Using the outing as an ultimatum.

I've mentioned before, my WW has always had a crappy memory. I don't know if his would be any better, but I could get number of times/ways/ I love you's. They knew it wasn't going to last past the deployment. I think it would help me hear the other side. Or he could just exaggerate it all. Which I wouldn't know and won't help WW's case.

From what I've gathered, he has done this before. I'd bet he's going to do it again. Maybe the fear of it all crashing down on him would make him stop being a dick.

The only way I am seeing right now to get to his BH is through spamming his FB friends and hoping I get lucky. Why not try and get something useful out of that before I do it?


Me: BS 31
Her: WS 29
10 years of marriage
12 years together
3 kids
DDay:January 16, 2014

Posts: 136 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NW US
Freeme
♀ 31946
Member # 31946
Default  Posted: 5:55 AM, February 25th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why would the OM tell you the truth? If you make this ultimatum he will most likely warn his wife that a crazy man is trying to get in touch with her. He will contact your wife and try to get their stories straight. He might even enjoy messing with your head.

The correct way to find out this information is to go straight to his BW. She would have the best chance of getting the truth out of him and you might be able to compare notes with her.


Posts: 272 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From: Washington DC
annb
♀ 22386
Member # 22386
Default  Posted: 7:05 AM, February 25th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Go directly to his wife. OM will lie, gaslight, and might make you out to be some jealous crazy husband.

Have you checked linkedin?


Posts: 7662 | Registered: Jan 2009 | From: Northeast
kalimata
♂ 42104
Member # 42104
Default  Posted: 7:09 AM, February 25th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hurtingfool:

I agree with others. DO NOT CONTACT OM. It will be pointless. Best way to slap him hard would be to notify his wife (OMW)

Don't notify OMW until you gather enough evidence. As soon as you expose to her, the affair with wither away and die a slow and complete death.

Be patient my man. Gather evidence like a spy and wait. Your WW will slip up, trust me.


Posts: 191 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: USA
spond
♂ 41686
Member # 41686
Default  Posted: 7:20 AM, February 25th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would also go straight to the OBS. Do NOT waste your time on the OM.

I would urge you to have as much physical proof as possible before you contact the OBS, chances are, she will ask for proof. That was one thing that I would have done differently.


BH(me) | fWW
2 Kids - Married 2002
D-Day TT & EA | D-Day #2 PA
Reconciling

Posts: 427 | Registered: Dec 2013
Justgreatnews
♂ 41666
Member # 41666
Default  Posted: 7:40 AM, February 25th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Surely you've seen these ads for places to do background checks, etc online. The major one (don't know if I can plug) is definitely on the up and up, see it everywhere. It is very good about providing spouse names, names of kids, etc. Costs about $30.

Used it a few times over the years. Very happy.


Posts: 261 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: United States
hurtingfool
♂ 42196
Member # 42196
Default  Posted: 11:58 AM, February 25th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So after sleeping I'm thinking a bit better. One thing though, it wasn't his BH I was looking for, it was his GF. Quite the slip there. Which I wouldn't think would come up in a background check.

AS far as other social media, guy is barely on FB. I checked G+, found the name but that was it. I haven't tried other sites yet as it didn't appear he would be on those.

[This message edited by hurtingfool at 12:01 PM, February 25th (Tuesday)]


Me: BS 31
Her: WS 29
10 years of marriage
12 years together
3 kids
DDay:January 16, 2014

Posts: 136 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NW US
Topic Posts: 7

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