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Well, I have my answer - 89 Days!

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jemimapd posted 2/25/2014 07:39 AM

Yes, it took exactly 89 days from the date our divorce was finalized for my ex to ask me for a loan.

He asked me yesterday for a loan of $25k for a business venture.

I don't have $25k and if I did I wouldn't loan it to him because he interprets a "loan" as a "gift".

He also told me, for the umpteenth time, that he is broke and probably won't be able to afford the cataract surgery he needs.

And it's not my problem!!!!!!!!!

In the past, I woud have paid for it, nursed him, made him follow the correct post-surgery procedures and put up with the eye-rolling and sarcastic comments about fussing over hygeine and making a big deal out of nothing.

Now, he can pay for his surgery, not take the antibiotics, not wear the eye-protection, get the infection, pay for the extra medication and generally suffer in the pit of miserable mold he has created for himself.

But it is all my fault because, as he announced yesterday, he "got the short end of the stick in the divorce."

Softcentre posted 2/25/2014 07:47 AM

IrishLass518 posted 2/25/2014 08:14 AM

Well, he shouldn't have put his short stick in a whore, just sayin'.

Good for you JPD, for saying no to both and staying strong.

7yrsflushed posted 2/25/2014 08:55 AM

You should have told him that short end must be pretty long because it's definitely touching his brain from where it's lodged. That's the only explanation I can think of for him actually asking you for a loan.

jemimapd posted 2/25/2014 09:16 AM

Well, he shouldn't have put his short stick in a whore, just sayin'.

Now why didn't I think of that.....

I have learned from SI to expect in the divorce what I got in the marriage: a huge sense of entitlement, delusion and selfishness from my ex husband.

On one level it makes me sad: I realize how much I allowed him to use me in the marriage. I constantly rescued him, financially and practically. I dealt with just about everything. I made decisions I would NEVER have made if I had known he was unfaithful. Basically, he conned me for a long time.

But at least now I know the truth and I can say no or ignore him without worrying that his bad decisions would come back to bite me.

If he doesn't pay his income taxes...
If he doesn't renew his tags...
If he gets a speeding ticket...
If he doesn't pay his property taxes...
If he lets down a client...
If he gives money to one of his sluts...
If his truck breaks down...
If he doesn't pay his business insurance...
If he gets an STD...
If he's too lazy to make enough $ to live on...

It's not my problem any more.

StillLivin posted 2/25/2014 09:21 AM

Well, he shouldn't have put his short stick in a whore, just sayin'.

SIers are SOOOOO funny, I swear!!!

I realize how much I allowed him to use me in the marriage.

Sigh, me too.
I made decisions I would NEVER have made if I had known he was unfaithful. Basically, he conned me for a long time.

And this too, times 10.
But mostly, this...
It's not my problem any more.

ButterflyGirl posted 2/25/2014 09:35 AM

Well, he shouldn't have put his short stick in a whore, just sayin'.

Someone get this woman in the quote thread!!

dmari posted 2/25/2014 09:55 AM

It's not my problem any more.
You should be so damn proud of yourself!! I am!!

careerlady posted 2/25/2014 10:13 AM

Wow! The nerve! But I guess he thought he could get in his divorce what he got in his marriage! I'm so proud of you! I think I would say no but might feel guilty afterwards, still some work to do!

He should ask one of his whores for a loan. Or get it off the equity in his mold infested home- oh wait there is none!

Random thoughts posted 2/25/2014 10:19 AM

Tell him to ask his 3 APs to each loan him 10k....

jemimapd posted 2/25/2014 14:14 PM

He should ask one of his whores for a loan. Or get it off the equity in his mold infested home- oh wait there is none!

Oh, let me tell you about his three whores. What a classy, winning collection of ladies they are:

No 1: the long-term, two-year-ish affair that was going to result, she thought, in her moving into my house and living off my money. She works now and then in a spa. She was foreclosed on in 2008, declared bankruptcy in 2012 and in 2013 at the height of their affair she was evicted from her big house owing $7k. But ex insists, "I never gave her a dime."

No. 2: the younger woman. They called each other five times a day, long smoochie chats and in-jokes. She had bought an investment property which turned into a money-pit. My ex was working for her for free. But they were, "just friends".

No 3: the woman who worked in the builder supply store. He gave her $1500, allegedly "a loan for an apartment deposit". No, it was actually for a DUI lawyer.
He had to do this!
He had no choice!
"I had to lend it to her or she would have committed suicide".
She has, you will be surprised to hear, not paid back this loan. And she is alive and well.

As for a loan, his credit improved every year he was married to me. I would love to know what it is today but I am damned sure he can't get a loan.

Williesmom posted 2/25/2014 14:54 PM

Another heartwarming tale from a non-remorseful jagoff.

What an idiot.

Nature_Girl posted 2/25/2014 15:35 PM

Oh man, this has just made my day. Cheers to you, Girlfriend!

marlie2014 posted 2/25/2014 19:08 PM

You're my inspiration, Jemima. I feel in many ways that I was married to a man like your ex. Ok, I still am, but my legal machinery is in motion. We won't still be married by the time this year is over.

And since splitting up, he's asked me for...oh, waaaay too many loans to count.

jemimapd posted 2/25/2014 19:08 PM

NG, you have no idea how much that has cheered me up!

It seems like the karma bus is running over him but all I can hear is the wah, wah, wah. It helps to remember that he is under the wheels.

jemimapd posted 2/25/2014 19:18 PM

Marlie, hang in there. The relief when I knew I was no longer entangled with him financially was immense. It is one of the good things about divorce, and there are some good things. I have less income but I am waaaay better off. I save money every month that isn't raided by my idiot husband. I have slowly started to get my affairs in order. I feel I am no longer sabotaged by him.

The downside for me right now is dealing with his resentment and anger. I don't respond but it is nasty and upsetting and delusional. He acts as if he is so hard done by. He left this marriage with a lot more than he brought into it. Yes, I wrote my cheating husband a check but apparently it wasn't enough.

As someone said above, he is is not in the least remorseful. And that hurts. He should be apologizing but instead he's angry that he didn't get enough $$$

Tripletrouble posted 2/25/2014 19:42 PM

JPD you are living the dream! Getting to see your ex experience real consequences to stupid decisions in only 89 days.

BAB61 posted 2/25/2014 20:35 PM

Well said Irishlass!! That is exactly what I was thinking!!

lol Jemima!! You ROCK!

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