The OW tried desperately to break us apart
The OW with my H tried desperately to break us up. She was pathetic.
It hasn't gone as far as yours has ((HUGS)). I personally would go to each court date (to see how it's progressing) but, I get your apprehension. If you're uncomfortable, don't go unless you HAVE to. For me, it was easier to get past the anger once I realized who OW was and that she was the one trying to initiate contact. My H blocked her at every turn. Although we're separated (trust issues obviously) there's hope for R.
Good luck hun. This sitch sucks. Why can't wayward spouses keep their pants up? Well -- I guess if they could they would be wayward spouses -- just spouses.
[This message edited by strongerdaybyday at 8:55 AM, February 25th (Tuesday)]
working towards D...I can't pretend anymore
**If I edit I'm correcting a typo!**
At first, these hurt, so bad. Then they became annoying and when our DS was diagnosed with cancer...they began to piss me off. I had no time for her shit. I finally stood up to her and it felt so good, additionally (for me at least)everything stopped. So although it took me awhile to find that inner core of strength...I am happy that I finally stood up to her. Granted I did not have to see her (she lives in another state) but it was over the phone..and she has not called me, or contacted me in anyway. Once I treated her as any other annoying disturbence, not as THE "OW"...I became me again.
So, if I was in your place, my answer would depend on one thing....If I was being stalked by someone else, someone with no emotional attachment to me...would I go to that court case?
TO momxgbg: I am so sorry for your loss that is recent. I can't imagine your pain. It brought tears to my eyes... The OW wrote me terrible emails after her identity was revealed by law enforcement. She said that my husband said terrible things about me, she called me desperate, she said that he treated me worse than our Dog... all of these were sent to my work email address, I was instructed by Law enforcement not to answer any of them. Then she sent me a package in the mail which included some bizarre items: (4 of my husbands ties, a silver bracelet that was tarnished that was obvious silver plated, a concert tee shirt (it was a tee shirt from a concert we attended and copies of emails between the two of them that were sexual in nature). It was a long term sexual affair.. he never told her he loved her as that would of been thrown in my face. Even after she was told by law enforcement to stop contacting me she continued in a rampage. It has made our process of working on our relationship VERY difficult. I almost left several times.
TO strongerdaybyday: thank you for the hugs and comments.
I think if you can stomach it, that you should go to court. You will be the righteous victor, you will prevail.
IMHO your WH should go too. Show the court that you are a strong couple, show a united front.
Have him come to support and protect you. And he should only have eyes for you.
I know it will be uncomfortable. But each time you see her with your WH in tow you will gain strength and she will continue to wither.
It might also be great for your WH to see his FAP in a court of law being prosecuted for what she really is...a pathetic bunny boiler. Consider it penance.
(((((momxgbg and her DS angel)))))
Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.
Sending you grace, dignity and strength.
[This message edited by meplusfour at 11:35 AM, February 25th (Tuesday)]