SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

careerlady posted 2/25/2014 11:52 AM

The Snake, who got progressively lousier at "special days" until I didn't get any gifts the last few years (we'd buy something together like trip and he'd say that's my gift ) decided to get me a huge bouquet of flowers, a delicious flourless chocolate cake, and a cologne-soaked card. The card talked about how long we've known each other and also said, in part:

"Yes we've had our challenges and yes we've had our moments. Whatever challenges life brings us I sincerely hope we take the right lessons away from them for stronger bonds in the future. Life and its experiences can only get so much worse before it starts getting better"

He acts like stuff has just "happened" to us like cancers and family death rather than his deliberate and repetitive cheating! he's right about one thing - things have gotten so bad where I have taken on an active role in making things better, by getting rid of him!

He also posted a pic of the flowers he got me on Facebook and tagged me in the photo saying "guess who turned 21" (of course I'm like 36 now and was not flattered duh:)

And he "let slip" that he'd gotten a raise and that his boss makes 2million something a year like money is going to change my mind. He's so delusional if he thinks I'm going to let things just blow over this time. He can't even lower himself enough to admit what a POS he is, just puts everything on my family and his FOO issues. Such a shame.....

dmari posted 2/25/2014 12:48 PM

First of all, HaPpY bIrThDaY!!

and with snake's "gifts"!

Softcentre posted 2/25/2014 13:00 PM

On the plus side....higher SS

He really does think a lot of himself doesn't he? And clearly wants everyone else to, as well.

I'd be tempted to post a pic of the flowers on FB saying "the flowers look nice, but they smell of bullsh*t"....except WHY WERE YOU ON HIS FB PAGE?

GotPlayed posted 2/25/2014 14:03 PM

Happy Birthday!

My last birthday sucked too. At least you got something. During mine, we weren't on speaking terms (5d after S decision). She got me a cake with DD8 and did a kid style happy birthday surprise, but mostly because DD8 insisted. It was the most awkward birthday I've ever had. She left quickly after, leaving me to tea party with my daughter.

They do act like it "just happened" and like we're the ones in the wrong for being mad. It's insane. However when you think about it, the 180 is for us to heal, and so we're not mad. We're heading for D, might as well be happy. Freedom can't be too far ahead!

By being mad at them we give them more power.

Don't give him more power. Do however note he has more money coming in now and let your L know to ask for new pay stubs.

jemimapd posted 2/25/2014 14:18 PM

Happy Birthday!!!

I know.

It just happened.

People make mistakes.

No one's perfect.

Everyone has ups and downs.

It just happened.

No marriage is perfect.

Maybe it's a good thing this happened.

BAB61 posted 2/25/2014 20:54 PM

ohhhh, he complimented you, and got you flowers .... you should be sooooooo happy ... but wait ... what? you really want a D???? awwwwww poor Snakey poo ...

careerlady posted 2/26/2014 01:32 AM

Thanks guys!

Dmari- get it wasn't all bad. I enjoyed that cake just like his V Day chocolates

Softcentre - I wasn't really on his page, I just got a notice I was tagged in a photo and there it was

GotPlayed - I'm not mad. Sadly I just get little surges of anger and they hardly last. Part of the reason I forgive too much I'm going to let the pay thing go since I'm trying for default and have no confirmation

Jeminapd - exactly!!!!

BAB61 - yup he's about to be a big ole victim of the meanie wife. The nanny hasn't been told yet and she gushed over my huge flowers. Sigh.

Oh the best part is he left the big box the flowers came in on the floor for me to dispose of (he left town today) and made some crab that night and left me the dirty pot. Thanks...

Softcentre posted 2/26/2014 01:50 AM

Hope you did have a fab birthday

I'm so glad you weren't on his FB page, if you block him then you won't see photos at all.

Aw, but he's soooo precious isn't he? So very special! He didn't just gift you flowers, he gifted you the rubbish and the washing up too. Just lovely! (sarcasm)

I'm so glad that his arsewipery makes it easier to detach.

BTW - Tell the nanny, in fact,give her the flowers if she likes them so much. Now is the perfect time. She needs to know what an arsewipe he is, before he tries to win her over...which he is bound to try because, you know, he can't stand people not liking him.

GingerAle posted 2/26/2014 08:55 AM

and a cologne-soaked card

Eeeeeewwwwww!

Hey, he is loaded now $$$$... can't you just take on life's challenges with him, and learn and bond as one?

Hope you had a great day careerlady

Nature_Girl posted 2/26/2014 11:37 AM

How romantic. How can you resist?