You'll have to forgive me, as it's been awhile since I posted or commented.
WH and I have been trying to reconcile for over six months now, with good results, I believe. He's taken responsibility for his actions, been upfront and honest with me, been seeing a counselor, allowing me to get upset when I need to. It's all still very fresh in my mind.
Today, he left his phone at home on accident. Of course, I felt compelled to snoop, and saw nothing. Absolutely nothing. I sent him an email because even though I found nothing, I'm still worry that he's hiding something. He still has the old email account that started this whole nonsense in the first place and that sends up a big red flag to me.
Anyway, he said he thought I would look and he's proud to say he's got nothing to hide. When I asked about his email, he said that it's still tied to his paypal and his work (and there's proof of that, I did see work emails from his union leaders.) I want to be confident and trust that he truly isn't hiding anything, but I just can't be yet.
He sent me a big long email about how hard he's trying, that he's got nothing to hide, that he only wants me and our family. And he's been trying... he really has. He's shown me so much compassion, love and kindness... been very gentle to me and really being helpful around the house and with the childcare (I started working out of the home right before I found out about his attempt at infidelity.)
So, given all this information, can someone please help me? I want to start trusting my husband again. I want to start being more intimate with my husband again. I want to feel secure in my marriage again. I have my best friend back, but I need more... I need trust and confidence that I'm truly all he needs.
How can I start the process? I feel like we're moving forward, but that my feelings stop us from going as far as we can. I have not seen a therapist of my own, which I feel I really need to do, for more than one reason. But, apart from that, does anyone have any advice for me? How can I move forward??