Me: BGF - 35
I have no reason to remain in contact with my ex. We have no children, and we've been separated for 4 years this month - any and all "business" has long been taken care of.
I will admit I remained in contact with him much longer than I should have. That was the co-dependent in me, and I worked on that and really felt I turned a corner on that front at about the 2.5 year mark.
He doesn't even live in town anymore since OW kicked him out, but I know he is in town every other weekend and one day a week for his visitation with OC. I have run into him occasionally, but make it a point to avoid places he might go.
I am at the point where I would be perfectly happy if I never had to see or speak to him again, or even hear his name again. I am not sure I will ever be "over" what happened, but as long as it's not in my face or anything, I function perfectly fine.
Well... after quite a while of NC with him, here he is to disrupt my life, again.
He has created ANOTHER new email address to email me. He's blocked from any method of contacting me that I could do, and he's not even really blocked from my email - no way to block on gmail - but he thinks he is, hence the new email address.
The content of the email is not relevant; it was him asking if I could do him a favor because he doesn't have anyone else he could ask and he really needs help.
What the fuck is wrong with this guy that he even thinks it's appropriate to ask me for ANYTHING?!
But here's my real problem: Crickets is not an option with this guy. Ignoring him does nothing but escalate the drama.
I have tried that many time in the past, and all that happens if I don't respond within a day or so is increased contact - he will send multiple emails from other email addresses all day long. He will call or text me from payphones or other people's phones whose numbers I don't have blocked.
When I've ignored his attempts at contact, he has started to do the same crazy harassment with my friends and family. Asking them to tell me to contact him, or ask them to pass along messages to me. That is NOT OK and I cannot have my friends and family dragged into this drama, so I usually end up giving in and talking to him - which is nothing but frustrating, upsetting and more drama.
I have tried to get a restraining order before. I was unsuccessful. He is not deemed to be "dangerous".
I am worn down. I have been in a very good place mentally lately, and now he is back again. I don't want to spend my life worry about when he is going to pop up and try to cause drama.
I'm partially venting.
But I'd also love advice if anyone has experience with dealing with someone who ramps up their crazy behavior and drama when you ignore them or give them crickets.
It was his choice not to R. He got the life he wanted. He wanted to walk away. It's been 4 fucking years. What can I do to make him go away?
[This message edited by Whalers11 at 7:21 PM, February 25th (Tuesday)]
And suddenly I see...what I lost ain't no loss.
-Richie Kotzen, "What I Lost"