This is why Im in reconcilliation. After triggering so hard yesterday morning, I left work early to go home and cry myself to sleep. I arranged for my mother to bring the kids home after school so I wouldnt have to move out of the bed once I crawled into it.
FWS knew I was having a hard time but was stuck at work himself. He kept in constant contact with me, checking on me every chance he got, sending messages of love and remorse. When I told him I was headed home, he did everything he could to get out early and come home to me even though all I thought I wanted was to be left alone.
He found right where I said I would be... curled up in a ball, a sobbing mess, wishing to sleep so I could escape if just for a couple. He immediately got into bed and held me while I cried all the pain out. His focus was me and helping me. He never tried to twist it to be about him. Only me. And that in itself was the most precious gift he could have given.