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They can help if you let them

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ShatteredPagan posted 2/26/2014 06:00 AM

This is why Im in reconcilliation. After triggering so hard yesterday morning, I left work early to go home and cry myself to sleep. I arranged for my mother to bring the kids home after school so I wouldnt have to move out of the bed once I crawled into it.

FWS knew I was having a hard time but was stuck at work himself. He kept in constant contact with me, checking on me every chance he got, sending messages of love and remorse. When I told him I was headed home, he did everything he could to get out early and come home to me even though all I thought I wanted was to be left alone.

He found right where I said I would be... curled up in a ball, a sobbing mess, wishing to sleep so I could escape if just for a couple. He immediately got into bed and held me while I cried all the pain out. His focus was me and helping me. He never tried to twist it to be about him. Only me. And that in itself was the most precious gift he could have given.

blakesteele posted 2/26/2014 07:32 AM

Touching post ShatteredPagan.

19 months out and I have only had to take 3 such leaves of absence from my work.

Great that your fWS is able to work through his guilt and shame to attempt to repair the damage his affair caused you and his M to you.

Great that you recognize his actions.

God be with us all.

SorrowBhindSmile posted 2/26/2014 11:42 AM


His focus was me and helping me. He never tried to twist it to be about him. Only me. And that in itself was the most precious gift he could have given.

agreed. i think that is one of the best things a WS can do for a BS. No matter how hard we cry, no matter how much we yell, scream, get angry, call them names, whatever......IMO, when a WS can find it in them to do that despite the tornado of emotions from us...then thats a true sign of remorse and wanting to R.

hugs to you!

BtraydWife posted 2/26/2014 13:15 PM

He immediately got into bed and held me while I cried all the pain out. His focus was me and helping me. He never tried to twist it to be about him. Only me. And that in itself was the most precious gift he could have given.

Absolutely wonderful. I bet many BSs wish their WS were capable of this. It means so much and helps heal the marriage.

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