On dday I didn't get the truth. (shocker) I got the we are friends, I am lonely, I kissed her once line.
We were married almost 20 years at this time. My husband's history was really great. Good husband, hard worker, never disrespectful. My trust in him was blind and at the time I felt, warranted.
We probably would have swept it under the rug. I took his story as truth. I was in denial and my heart and head were easily quieted with his story.
A few weeks later he went away for a yearly trip he used to take with another guy to New York. Big car show they liked to see. They had gone the previous 2 years. I was excited for him to go, I needed to take a breath and I knew the guy he was going with was a good FOM.
When he was leaving I started to cry, he was concerned and asked if I wanted him to stay home. I told him it was silly, I was fine. I didn't realize at the time my head and heart were fighting the real truths...
I went to bed that night content, they had gotten to NY fine and we had talked a few times.
Sometime during the night I must have been hit in my sleep with a 2x4. I actually sat straight up and said to myself "you stupid bitch".....and my world crumbled.
Enter crazy. I knew he was in NY with the OW. I just knew it.
I called the OBS and asked "where is your wife" . Plain as day and as trusting as I had been the day before..."at a convention in New Hampshire"
I think I might have laughed, I told him my thoughts and he disagreed. No way, not our spouses...
Once the morning came I called my husband and asked him if he was with her. Of course he lied. He called later and talked for a long time, wouldn't get off the phone. While we talked I was on mapquest, getting directions to the hotel in New York. I didn't tell him my plans. I played nice.
I called my boss told her what was going on (she was wonderful and HAD to have been a BS at some point ) she accepted me and my crazy with no questions and logged me out sick for the weekend.
I got a coffee, a pack of cigarettes and drove like a bat out of hell the 5 hours to New York. I stopped at every rest stop for more coffee and got there sometime around 2 in the morning.
I didn't want or need to confront. I just wanted proof....I wanted to know I wasn't fucking crazy.
I found his hotel and there sat her car.
Relief, anger, sadness...all of it.
I called his phone and left him a message, let him know I was just cruising through the Lake George area. I mentioned how lovely it was and told him he should enjoy his weekend. He would no longer be welcome in our home.
I drove the 5 hours back and hefty bagged his shit...then I went to the Casino and did some Eff you gambling.
It was the one and only time I needed them, but I found my bitchboots that day and let him know I would not be treated like a doormat.
I hadn't found my worth yet, but something inside me wouldn't take it.
Did you have an aha moment? What was the trigger that made you find your strength and acknowledge the truth??