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My daughter got bit at daycare......while trying to go to sleep!

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She11ybeanz posted 2/26/2014 08:58 AM

So...I go to pick up my daughter yesterday....and they have me sign a form informing me that while she was laying down trying to take a nap....apparently another child had a diabolical sniper attack plan and got up and ran over and bit her in the middle of her back while she was sleeping!!!! OMG!!!! And, of course, they don't tell you which child did this. Not that I would do anything, but I found that convenient.

I know this is normal...but it concerns me. How are they able to keep these things from happening?? Poor baby....normally she is playful and defiant and runs from me when its time to go....this time when she saw me she screeched and held her arms out and when I picked her up she laid her head on my chest and stayed there.

She has a red mark on her back about an inch long and the biting occurred about 6 hours prior. Poor thing.

Just about broke my heart. I know kids do these things and they are just par for the course when you are around other children....but it still sucks when you are powerless to protect them from it.

[This message edited by She11ybeanz at 8:58 AM, February 26th (Wednesday)]

Amazonia posted 2/26/2014 09:49 AM

How are they able to keep these things from happening??

What was their response when you asked them how they plan to keep this from happening again?

I would have asked what/how they will be notifying the offending child's parent/guardian as well.

She11ybeanz posted 2/26/2014 09:55 AM

They said that they do notify the other parent and I think there is a 3 strike rule on that sort of thing....they say that they talk to the child and explain to them how hurtful what they did was and show them what they did. They have them apologize to the child that was hurt. They then try to monitor that child's interactions with the other children to prevent further incidents.

I guess its hard when you have 5 or 6 little ones running around playing....but this was at naptime for crying out loud! I think one of the children standing up and running full throttle towards another child for the sole purpose of biting her should have stood out a bit....but that's just my take on it.

[This message edited by She11ybeanz at 9:55 AM, February 26th (Wednesday)]

ajsmom posted 2/26/2014 10:08 AM

Super common.

That age group truly are ankle biters.

The good stuff is coming - wait until she's painted during art class, bopped on the head during story hour and falls off the picnic table while at lunch, cutting her top lip.

Day care. It's not for the squeamish.


AJ's MOM

She11ybeanz posted 2/26/2014 10:11 AM

Yeah....I know. Poor thing. She's got her momma's emotional side so when she falls or gets hurt she screams like someone tried to kill her! I know she will be okay. Its all part of growing up I suppose.

JanaGreen posted 2/26/2014 10:12 AM

Don't worry - as she gets older she'll let you know EXACTLY who did what. We have the Airing of Grievances against the other children on a regular basis on the way home from school. I'm sorry she was bitten!

GabyBaby posted 2/26/2014 10:18 AM

It sucks, but it happens.
At some point, it is likely that your darling girl will be on the giving end rather than the receiving end of a slap or bite.
It is all part of growing up and learning what's ok and what is not ok.

"Use your words, dear, use your words..."

nowiknow23 posted 2/26/2014 10:20 AM

And, of course, they don't tell you which child did this. Not that I would do anything, but I found that convenient.
There are privacy reasons for not identifying the other child. Get used to this, because it's not going to change.

Crescita posted 2/26/2014 11:04 AM

Don't worry - as she gets older she'll let you know EXACTLY who did what. We have the Airing of Grievances against the other children on a regular basis on the way home from school. I'm sorry she was bitten!

My three your old niece has singled out another kid in her class to be responsible for everything. EVERYTHING. "Jackson did it!" After she aired 15 or so grievances against Jackson, I asked my sister who this hooligan was, just a kid in her class who is responsible for everything that goes wrong, even when she is at home

musiclovingmom posted 2/26/2014 11:20 AM

And, of course, they don't tell you which child did this. Not that I would do anything, but I found that convenient.
There are privacy reasons for not identifying the other child. Get used to this, because it's not going to change.

^^This. It isn't that they don't tell you, it is that they CAN'T tell you. I am the parent of a biter. He has, for the most part, grown out of it. We tried EVERYTHING. Talking, showing him the other child, time-out, taking away a favorite toy, spankings, hot sauce, I even bit him back once out of sheer desperation to find SOMETHING that would deter his behavior (I do NOT recommend this, it didn't work and I felt awful). I would always try to apologize to the parents of the child he bit. I'm sorry your child was the victim.

She11ybeanz posted 2/26/2014 11:58 AM

I don't expect them to tell me who did the biting. I completely understand there are privacy laws in place for this sort of thing. As long as they notify the other parent of what their child did, than I am okay. Its not my responsibility to discipline someone else's child. They need to take care of it. And, the daycare staff needs to pay attention to the interactions of the children as best they can. Things are going to happen regardless. I know this. And, I'm sure I will be on the receiving end of my daughter doing the same thing to another child one day. I don't doubt that one bit....

peacelovetea posted 2/26/2014 12:03 PM

My favorite notice of this sort was the one in which my child was described as being "hit over the head with a plastic fish" accompanied by all sorts of warnings about head injuries. Those plastic fish are deadly!

She11ybeanz posted 2/26/2014 12:20 PM

I could totally see Piper conking another child over the head with a plastic fish!

Pentup posted 2/26/2014 12:23 PM

(((Piper and Mommy)))
I know it happens. I know they all do something to another at some time.

But I read this and thought good thing I do not have kids. I would probably bite each of the kids and the workers on the way out the door if my baby was hurt. sort of kidding.

I am crazy about my dogs. Heaven only know how I would be if I had a sweet little girl like yours.

She11ybeanz posted 2/26/2014 13:01 PM

I will admit...I wanted to give the child the "stink eye" at least....but I know that at this age (18 months) that they can't really communicate their feelings very well....my daughter knows a few words...but she mostly babbles... so they express themselves through tantrums....hugs...kisses....physical motions...and I suppose...also....BITING...

I'm not happy about it. Just praying there aren't any repeats.

MissesJai posted 2/26/2014 13:17 PM

Just praying there aren't any repeats
well, you can hope, but she is in day care, so chances are, something else is going to happen. It's day care - like ajsmom said, not for the squeamish.

She11ybeanz posted 2/26/2014 15:40 PM

I meant more from the same child. I know she will have other incidents at daycare....there are too many variables involved. I just hope this isn't a "singled" out type of thing....which I doubt at this age.

Holly-Isis posted 2/26/2014 15:53 PM

Proverbial kids bite when they don't know how to express themselves. Or they hit.

It was nap time, so the teachers need to examine what might have triggered the kid. Did your DD have a toy to sleep with that s/he envied? Does she get a binky but the biter is being weaned? Things like that.

As for where the teachers are, they are often setting up for the next activity. In our case we usually had snack after nap. Or at that age, there was some potty learning going on and we'd be helpig a child use the restroom.

DS has a very slight scar on his lip from just visiting the daycare I used to work at. Even watching him, one of the kids that was about 6mos older grabbed him and shoved him into a chair. Their little brains sometimes make no sense and even vigilance isn't enough.

I'm so sorry for your DD. Such a rude awakening. I think the positives will outweigh the negatives. When I was still on FB one of my friends was a mom from my old daycare. I looked at her DS's friends list...he had kids I remembered being in the same classes as he was when I taught daycare. They're in college now. I can't remember but I'm guessing at one time they had hit or bitten each other.

Your daughter will thrive. IME and IMO she's in a better situation now than when she was with your sister.

[This message edited by Holly-Isis at 3:55 PM, February 26th (Wednesday)]

She11ybeanz posted 2/26/2014 15:57 PM

Your daughter will thrive. IME and IMO she's in a better situation now than when she was with your sister.

I agree. Its hard for me to be stern but I have to for my daughter's sake. I hate taking her away from my sister but under the circumstances....I can't allow that blowup to happen again. And, it would. And, it would be worse than before. I just know it. Its better this way and she will learn to accept it over time!

tushnurse posted 2/26/2014 17:31 PM

Gotta say this is totally normal.

Both of my kids got bit, and bit others in daycare. When they did the biting I brought down the hammer at home, and we had talks about how it's not ok. IT is totally normal for that age group to bite, they are limited in their verbal ability and compensate their frustrations by biting.

My soon to be 17 yo DS has a scar still on his chest, pretty much right on his sternum where another kiddo attempted to "bite his heart out" when he pissed him off. We laugh about it now. And honestly I wasn't too upset when it happened as the poor little guy had issues, that were obvious even at 2.

She will learn how to protect/defend, and give a don't mess with me vibe and this will be in the past before you know it.

Enjoy the extra cuddles while you get em.

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