Wow, it's been 15 months since my world as I knew it, ended. So abruptly and so very devastating.
I still think about him and what happened daily, but don't dwell on it as long. Still riding the emotions although the lows don't dip as much and I don't stay in it as long.
Mediation is in less than two months. A year ago, the thought of divorce was unacceptable. Now, it is a welcome, inevitable end to my marriage. I don't want a liar and a cheat for a partner. I deserve better.
Last night, I was thinking that my foundation disappeared. For a long time, that thought was frightening to me. Now, it's okay. It's just me right now and I am learning to be okay without a foundation right now. I am still grounded. I don't need him in my life anymore.
Last night, I felt like going to the movies, so I did. Could not have done that before. I am really relishing my freedom and the fact that I am in charge of my life now. For the first time in my life, I feel that and it's wonderful.
I still feel pain and anger over what happened. I still wish the karma bus would park in his front yard. How anyone could hurt and betray someone that loved them with all their heart, I will never understand. I am letting that go, letting him go and embrace this new life. I will finish school in June and hope my divorce is final then. Then, explore all the opportunities life has in store for me. Scary, and exciting.
What was the hardest part of moving on for you?