What non-sexual things make you feel loved?
My SO makes dinner for me. He rubs my feet when they are cold. He rubs my shoulders when they are sore. He calls or sends me a text throughout the day just to check in and say "Hi!" He frequently tells me he loves me. We always kiss good morning and good night. He opens doors for me - goes out of his way to open my car door - every time. He holds my hand when we are walking in public or just sitting on the couch watching TV. I feel loved every single day.
What about you?
Before SO came into my life, my furbaby was my boon companion - just as you said, there to greet me each time I came home, full of unconditional love, and sometimes a slight pain in the ass! SO is not fond of my cat, be he knows the score - cat was with me before he showed up and cat isn't going anywhere!
Someone who gives me 'that' look--the one that only we two know what it means.
Someone I don't have to constantly apologize to for having to work or having other obligations and for whom I do the same--yet we both occasionally do make apologies, albeit brief and without guilt.
Someone who will take my hand or put his arm around my shoulders in the presence of his friends. It doesn't have to be an overt gesture, just very easy like it's the most natural thing in the world.
Someone with whom I can sit and read, sew or knit while he watches a show that I'm not really interested in, just so that we can be close but not have to share every single experience.
Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-62
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011
SO is not fond of my cat, be he knows the score - cat was with me before he showed up and cat isn't going anywhere!
ETA: Oh yeah, and even if he thinks birthdays or Valentine's Day (or whatever day) are stupid, he wants to do something special for me because he knows to me it is important and that's all that matters to him, that he can make me smile and wants to make me smile! Matter of fact, making me happy should be the most important thing to him!
[This message edited by StillLivin at 5:13 PM, February 26th (Wednesday)]
He probably has no idea just how loved that made me feel.
If you want them to quit stabbing you in the back, then you need to quit handing them the knife.
Super kind people
An old friend hearing your voice and calling you back to see how was your day
Hugs from loved ones or a smile from a child
The uncontrollable laughter of kids when they are being silly
Following Up in all areas of life
Wonderful family and friends!
By loving myself I have found the most perfect person that balances my life. It is not that my life is lacking but he adds a quality that enhances every aspect of it.
He's completely unselfish, for example this past weekend was his birthday dinner and in the middle my phone was lighting up in my pursue. I hadn't noticed since I had stepped away to the restroom ... but he did and knew it was my youngest son (my son and girlfriend were expecting their first baby together) SO reached into my pursue while I was away and answered it ... the rest of the dinner shifted to a grand-baby surprise. SO insisted that we cut dinner short to get to my apartment to video chat with my youngest son (and his family). But while paying for dinner SO called my oldest son and his girlfriend and my daughter and her boyfriend to make sure they were also available to chat ... So when we finally got to my place all my kids and their SO's were on-line waiting for us to join their chat so we could all be together to bring the new little one into the family.
This was a huge loving memory ... and there is just so much more my SO does to let me know that I am loved ...
- I get unexpected mail from friends/family.
- my kids want to sit in my lap.
- my parents call to check on me.
- a song comes on the radio that reminds me of SO.
- I'm at game night with my friends, especially when we're laughing!
3 boys: 11, 9, and 1.
That has been a big one with the latest guy. I mention something really trivial and he will remember it and not make a big deal of remembering it, but incorporate it. Like, say I told him that I LOVE tomatoes, the next time I visit, he would be sure to have tomatoes in the house. Really, every time.
From my kids, the fact that even at 12, my DS wants to "cuddle" in my bed at night before he goes to sleep. This is precious time to me that we laugh at pinterest "humor" posts, he makes me watch annoying Youtube bmx biking videos, and I in turn make HIM watch special effects makeup videos, lol...
When the littles, DS5 and DS8 run into the house from the bus yelling MOM! All happy to see me like. And when I get the random cuddles and hugs and unnecessary "I love you's". And the fact that DS5 randomly brings me gaudy ass jewelry he's found when out with their dad and he's made him buy for his mom and comes home to "present" it to me and tell me that I can be the queen,
When DS8, who is NOT a cuddler AT ALL, gives me a kiss on the cheek and lets me poke his adorable freckle before bed...
SO: everything. We have known each other since we were 9. I truly feel that if certain circumstances hadn't happened in my early 20's, me and EX would have naturally run our course and me and SO would have ended up dating again and eventually together for life. He is funny and great at making me smile or laugh when I am stressed. He is patient and understands how I function. He takes care of both me AND my boys when I can't and genuinely enjoys it. Sunday afternoon I had the migraine from hell and had a week of one kid sick after another so the house was a disaster. I woke up from a 2 hour nap to a clean house and he and DS12 were working on plans to go to home depot and build a PVC bike rack for the garage to organize the boys things. He takes my little random statements and turns them into reality and brings the color to my world.
When BananaGirl14 and I hang out together every night trading lives on Candy Crush and cracking up at Doge memes
When BananaGirl17 chases me around, gobbling like a turkey (which is both funny and creepy )
How BananaGirl11 still holds my hand when we're walking somewhere
When my friends and I connect over both goofy and serious things
The way SO texts me the same sweet message every night right before I go to sleep
... and so many other things.
I really am blessed.
Like, say I told him that I LOVE tomatoes, the next time I visit, he would be sure to have tomatoes in the house.
This same thing happened to me. I always order lemon for my water at restaurants. From the very first time I went to newguy's house - he has had lemons there for me. All cut up in a little Tupperware container for my water. It is a really little thing but makes me smile every single time.
I commented on it and he said he doesn't understand why some people just don't make effort for people in their lifes. Especially if it is something so easy like lemons.