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thebighurt posted 2/26/2014 19:12 PM

And he is happily M!!

He smiles lovingly while his W is talking, looks lovingly at her, speaks lovingly to her and of her. They have grown daughters and grandchildren who you know are greatly loved.

He is an attentive, concerned listener who can carry on a conversion with anyone about anything and makes you feel as if you are the only thing that matters at that point, as well as giving or laughingly receiving a gentle ribbing. He makes you feel good, but you know who matters the most to him. He always looks to her. Just an all-around lovely person. Those who have known him 30+ years say he has always been the same.

I have known him a few years and have realized this about him the whole time, but now it seems a bit different to my mind.

After 2+ years of IC, I can recognize this for what it IS as much as what it ISN'T. I have been observing relationships and interactions in light of what I have learned. It feels great to see that difference. THIS is what I will have to see in any future relationship that may ever develop for me! His W is a very lucky woman, and I think she knows it. I'm lucky to know him and see the "perfect" example!

finallymefirst posted 2/27/2014 14:09 PM

Everything is not always what it seems, but for ur friends sake I really hope it is. Maybe ur picker is getting better.

She11ybeanz posted 2/27/2014 14:17 PM

My best friend has a husband like this. He isn't "perfect" because she tells me things he does that annoy her.... but I think all of the wonderful things he does do overshadows his faults. No one is perfect. But, he gives me hope for mankind that there "might" be a good match for me somewhere out there! Just no rush to find him......hoping he finds me!

StillLivin posted 2/27/2014 15:13 PM

I knew a gentlemen like this. He passed about 2 years ago. Knew him for over 10 years. He always honored his wife. Never said a bad word about her, even when she ticked him off. Caught him schooling the youngins a few times about not cheating on their wives. Always gave us married soldiers (he was also retired military) advice on how to make it through the long deployments. Always said it takes two folks with the same mindset that D and A's are NOT an option in order to make a M work! I don't think my H was listening to good during those talks.
His wife is just the sweetest thing. He retired about 6 years ago. It broke my heart to find out he had passed.

thebighurt posted 2/27/2014 18:30 PM

Finallymefirst, I certainly hope my picker has improved. I don't know how much worst it could get.

I'm sure he has some faults, too, like She11y's friend's H, but I've never heard anyone, especially his W or daughters say anything about any. They obviously adore him.

StillLivin, I'm sorry for the loss of that man. I hope he practiced what he preached. Xpos said those things frequently and look where I am.

Amazonia posted 2/27/2014 19:38 PM

Sounds like a pretty healthy couple, not just a healthy guy.

thebighurt posted 2/27/2014 19:51 PM

Yes, Ama, they are both lovely people. I spent the day at their house with a small, intimate group of women recently. He came home from work before we left and it was very evident that they were happy to see each other. He joined us for a bit, too, and it was nice to have him there.

I'm just happy that I am now able to see these relationships for what they are (or aren't) and recognize how much off base mine was.

phmh posted 2/27/2014 20:13 PM

I'm just happy that I am now able to see these relationships for what they are (or aren't) and recognize how much off base mine was.

I can so relate to this. I've really been watching how other couples interact and it's really eye-opening. Yet, even the day before D-Day I would have sworn to you I was in a great relationship with strong communication and love. But with what I've learned, I should have known better, years before!