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sigh..ex was himself.

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cmego posted 2/27/2014 07:16 AM

I don't even know how to vent about this, and not sure it belongs in NB's…but I'll say it here.

My ex. I sat in meeting about my son's learning disability yesterday, and he sat there and cried. I kept looking at him, trying to listen to the Intervention Team, and thinking…"yup. Doesn't surprise me." I've been to every meeting, done all of the pushing, and have been pushing for a year to get my son extra help. Now officially dx with a learning disability yesterday and the ball is now rolling to get him the help he needs. This was the first meeting ex showed up to (go figure…the "big one"…he shows) and proceeds to make a scene and basically, well, look like a wuss.

I think what really bothered me is that, as usual, I feel like I'm always the "strong one". No matter what, he will never, ever change. I was the one taking notes, asking questions, listening, engaged..while he sat in the corner and either pontificated about how grateful he was for the teacher(which I mentioned to him when we were walking in), or cried.

I tried to muster a little sympathy while we were walking out, or…maybe I just wanted to see if he would be honest…and asked why he was upset. He just said, "It was hard to listen to…".

I started grieving back in September when I realized there was a problem. I'm ready to just help my kid and move forward. He seems to just now understand there is a real problem.

Yesterday, I felt angry for always being the "strong one". I never get to just…break down. But, today, I feel better. No anger left, still kinda numb.

I wonder how I was ever married to that man. Then, I also noted that I felt absolutely nothing for him. It was like hovering over and watching a stranger. No pull toward him at all, and slightly repulsed.

It feels so good to be completely detached. I also realized that my 4 year antiversary is next weekish. I guess that 3-5 year healing timeline is spot on.

nowiknow23 posted 2/27/2014 07:26 AM

I SO understand this. Just went through DD15's annual IEP meeting and had a similar reaction to wasband and how he acted during the meeting. Attention seeking? Needy? Or something. Anyway.

((((cmego)))) Continuing to send you strength, honey.

sparkysable posted 2/27/2014 09:54 AM

Are you kidding me? What is his problem? It's not like he just heard news that his child has a terminal disease! I don't get it!

ThisHell posted 2/27/2014 10:24 AM

Made it all about him, eh? Shocking..

I'm sorry you have so much on your plate... without a strong stand up father figure to take on some of that load.

better4me posted 2/27/2014 12:32 PM

You are a good mom, Cmego.

He is an adequate (maybe, barely adequate) dad.

Williesmom posted 2/27/2014 12:40 PM

You did an awesome job.

He's just an ass. There's no accounting for idiots.

persevere posted 2/27/2014 22:53 PM

You did what you do - be the strong parent, because that's what your kids need. It sounds like that you've always held that role, and the good news is that you are accustomed to this role, and it's beneficial to your kids.

Him? Well, as you said, it wasn't unexpected and it won't change. Thank goodness your kids have you to stabilize them. Is it fair? Of course not, but there is no other option for your kids' sake. You are an awesome mom lady. ((Hugs))

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