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Loadsofchocolate posted 2/27/2014 16:44 PM

Not sure if I'm posting this in the right section so apologies if I've got it wrong

We have been trying to reconcile since December when dday 5 occurred. I'm just really not sure that my WH gets it at all though. I read on here about remorseful partners and he is nowhere close. He has given me passwords (in the past he has had secret accounts so this doesn't really mean much) and sent a NC letter. He isn't on his laptop all night anymore and he deactivated his FB account (affair started as online before becoming physical). That is all he has done. If I am upset about anything affair related he hugs me but rarely apologizes. If I sit down with him in the evening he barely notices my presence. I feel invisible. I ask him if he loves me and he says yes but I'm not so sure. I told him a couple of weeks ago that I needed to feel loved and special to him but he has done nothing. Rather than spend more time with me he hardly talks to me and has admitted to watching porn on his phone.

A couple of weeks ago I decided to check his various online accounts. It would appear that WH made a new friend nearly 2 weeks ago and I'm starting to worry. She is 20 years younger, single and the comments to each other on Pintrest are increasing by the day. She lives on the other side of the world but he posts comments to her probably more than he talks to me. We had a disagreement 2 days ago and he barely spoke to me. Apparently, she was cheering him up with funny comments and post and made his day bearable (according to his comment on her page today). He also thanked her for being such a good friend and then used a phrase he last used with the OW "thank you for being you" . He has got too close again hasn't he? It's only been TWO weeks. This is exactly the time of year it all started last year. I just can't believe it. I so sick and tired of being second best and being fed crumbs while he spends all his time complimenting other women online. I just don't know what to do now. It's been 9 months since dday 1, is he ever going to "get it"

4everfaithful83 posted 2/27/2014 16:55 PM

Gently...you are not in R. His actions are not appropriate for someone who is remorseful. I think you should practice the 180 and set boundaries. His relationship with this OW is not appropriate.

I'm sorry you're here.

Uhtred posted 2/27/2014 20:46 PM

I sure hate to hear that for you and I'm in quite mood tonight. He doesn't get it and it's time for him to get a wake up call.

lastdance posted 2/27/2014 21:47 PM

DO YOU GET IT-----should be the question----you are the one in denial---he is not going to change--he has his cake and he gets to eat it too----why should he change when you allow him to cheat ---you have no boundaries---no 180-----he is doing what you let him get away with----he is not the problem---you are---be good to yourself

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