Has anyone else had this dilemma and if you R, did you leave them down still.
she is wearing a necklace that he gave her in it.
Those pictures belong in the fire, my friend, but not until you've explained why to her. Otherwise, she'll just mark it down as "He's crazy and jealous".
The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous!
Who knows what went on?
D-Day 2/12/12 D-Day 6/1/16 Caught him back online early enough that no physical contact took place but still devastating. This sucks.
Grief, loss and pain taunt her - "you will never be the same." Like a Phoenix rising from the ashes, she rises and spreads her new wings as she brushes off the ashes an
For V day WW gave me a photo frame made into the word "love" She did try and pick photos from after d day and before it started - but that would mean no photos of our kids. I would just prefer to through that gift in the trash. Fortunately it is sitting in a corner of the room and won't be put up any time soon.
Slight T/J. I have the same issues with my wedding room. I took it off several months ago and have been feeling like it was time to get a new one and start wearing it - will never wear current one. But then two days later I feel completely different and change my mind. Buying cards is the same - I buy two, one generic and one romantic. I choice the card on the day I give it based on how I feel at that time.
Hey bro.
I triggered for a long time on our wedding and honeymoon photos. My wife keeps a wedding photo by the front door. It grieved me to look at, and in my spite, I kept thinking, "If this was so damn special, why did you throw it away?"
I saw myself in my wedding tux, smiling like the luckiest guy in the world, standing next to my beautiful bride. I just wanted to go back in time and slap the happy right off his face.
But recently, I started seeing it differently. Because my wife wants that photo by the door to tell people she's proud to be married to me, she's thankful for me, and she's grateful that our marriage has survived the worst of trials.
Having said that, you have every right and reason to get rid of any photos which include triggers. That necklace from your wife's Affair Partner? I would put those in a box, move them to the attic, and plan on burning them down the road.
It's not quite clear where y'all are in the Reconciliation process. I know it's hard to gauge when your wife's mind and heart are still not clearly known by you. And you've already endured one False Reconciliation. So be patient with this one.
If true Reconciliation continues, and the emotional and spiritual bonds between you and your wife strengthen, I would one day ask her to round up every single item, gift, memento she has from her AP.
Because those need to burn (or be trashed) eventually, too. With your wife glad to light the match and consign it to ash.
“No, Lord,” she said.
And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”
One of our first activities after D-Day was discarding gifts ow gave my W. I actually took some pleasure in the pain that caused my W.
LS, Taking down the photos is a good step for you. I'm glad you're doing it.
Some of the pictures had been put into scrapbooking pages. Those pages cost me upwards of $10.00 each (what can I say, I scrap expensive!). I gave the pictures and pages to wh to destroy.
As far as pictures on the wall/dresser etc. Nothing of us. The children are on the wall but that's it.
Lawyers involved.
She stole 12 years of my life.
NOT. ONE. MORE. DAY!
I'll soon be taking them down and replacing them with pictures of me and the kids, the kids with members of my family, or just them.
All wedding photos will be going into a box and I'm going to give them to her. She can do with them as she wishes.
I also have dozens and dozens of cards and letters she gave me exclaiming how I was the love of her life, that she was going to love me forever, and how our love can get us through anything. All the same hollow shit that she told and wrote to her adultery partner. She can then recycle them to give to whoever is latest on the forever-my-love list.
I am going to remove any and all trace of her from this home.
It's a sad statement but she is not a part of my life and I actually want my children to see that. They have to know that you DO NOT accept this toxic shit in your life. They need to see ONE parent live an authentic life and one who holds fast to his values and sense of morality.
Every time I looked at a wedding photo all I could think was "I meant my vows, she didn't mean hers."
Every so often I'd put them back up mentally and see what the emotional reaction was...until very recently it was still anger at them.
As I was cleaning the house the other day, I felt like something on the wall was missing; indeed, there was a clock where we used to hang out wedding day photo. I pulled it out of the closet and put it back up, and there was no sense of anger or revulsion at it. So there it hangs.
It looks right again.
[This message edited by FacePunched at 10:34 AM, March 1st (Saturday)]
And you don't need to destroy the wedding video. Bring it to a video editor and ask that they remove ALL scenes that include the piano player. If for nothing else, your kids might enjoy seeing the wedding of their parents.
I'm sorry you're going through this. This all hurts.
(((((hugs)))))
