I have managed to achieve an incredible amount of success. Take my current position. Female, under 40, no background in manufacturing or engineering, no degree, and yet promoted to manager of a prototyping engineering company. Sounds great right?
After much consideration and introspection I have decided to chuck in my job, free fall and complete my education (degree). The wake up call was realising that even just stepping out from my job for 2 weeks caused me to lose the ‘edge’ of surviving in the toxic environment. Its not a case of not being able to do the job (I rock it) its that I don’t want to be there, it feels like my soul dies a little more each day. I also don’t know what ‘I want to be when I grow up’. What is my purpose in life? What I do know is that I don’t feel I can discover my purpose staying in my current company. It is truly a horrific place that I feel I run interception on to prevent the toxicity spilling too much onto my staff. I end up feeling depleted and unable to enjoy what time I do have outside of work, as its all about recharging the batteries to go back into the fray each Monday.
I will be handing in my resignation on Monday. I have decided to take a year out of ‘life’ to live somewhere remote and complete my final year of my degree. A ‘river change’ if you will. It is scary and exciting all at the same time. So different to the ‘normal’ that has been my unhappy life for so very long. I don’t know if it is a good decision or a bad one. I just know I need to try something and now is the best time in my life to do it (no kids, no house mortgage, no destructive relationship to financially support). Will be going from 6 figure salary to nothing. Even with the unknowns I feel more peaceful than anything else at this point.
Anyone else make big life changes and regret the decision or, did you reflect that it was the best thing? Whilst I am committed to this change as being necessary for me, it is always helpful to hear BTDT wisdom.
"I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel". –Maya Angelou
I hear you about the job. A few years ago, I got what I thought was my dream job. Big raise, nice title, cool start up..ect. Yeah I hated it from day one. Every morning pulling into the parking garage, I felt a little bit of my soul dying. I lasted 3 weeks and quit. That was a GREAT decision.
Enjoy your leap!
“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler
I'm sure you will find all kinds of doors opening in your mind once you get away from the crazy.
I don't know how this will end up, I just know I want to change something on the roller coaster that is my life.
I have enough funds to keep me for at least 6 months (closer to 1 year) but intend to seek a casual job during this time for income.
I also intend to try living 'naturally' and being a hippy! Such a change from my unhippy current existence
I am blessed that I can even think of doing that.
I am just looking forward to being able to study without dipshit actively working against me.
Oz degrees largely suck IMHO (had to expend a lot of internal training money to get grads up to scratch). I hope that is solely restricted to aerospace but I don't think it is.
Why? Because when you don't have a job or take the time bills and life can pile. You get an unrealistic expectation of life and unless you are able to retire you will have to go back to work.
This gives you the option if something happens. Trust me it is hard to go back unless you have a good explanation- this is keeping the door open and investigating a new life.
Good luck and enjoy!
I do wonder though, if you are good at your job and successful enough to be earning such an impressive salary, is there a way they could convert your position to one you could telecommute and work part time while completing your degree? Without having to go into the toxic environment...
I wish I could have a massive change like this but children to feed etc. I crave it, I feel kinda trapped in my own life.
Best of luck.
Best thing I gained in my divorce - my freedom.
As I have worked fulltime since the tender age of 15 and spent 32 years of that time in my field I was lucky enough to have a few bucks stashed away. Even after losing almost half of my retirement to my D I ran the numbers and they looked doable. I have a 14 yo that was my number one priority, so I made sure his continued support was taken care of first. I then used funds to purchase another home in a much less expensive part of the country for cash. Having no mortgage all I needed was enough money to pay everyday bills and expenses. My fairly new SUV was paid off before I left my job so I have no outstanding revolving debt. The home I bought was cheap and a true fixer upper. Took me a year to get that place together but I'm all settled in and happy I made this decision. I do what I want, when I want. I certainly don't miss the stress and the bad habits that caused. I live my life day to day, week to week and so far Its going well. Its been 2 years now and I'm happy to report that while I'm a bit lonely things are good for me. I do not regret doing this and that's the best part of it all.
After all of that I still have some decent money in the bank. I subsidize my income by doing what I always did, trading stocks except this time it was for my own benefit. I "work" probably a total of 10 hours a week and I'm doing all right with that as well. You would be surprised on how little one actually needs when the big stiff is taken care of and you cut out most of life's luxuries that really never made a difference anyway. I live in a decent home, in a good community and I'm happy. I figure if life throws me a curve the worst thing that can happen is I go back to work. Its very scary at first, but of you plan it out prior its very rewarding. I have rediscovered old passions and hobbies. You know the good stuff you set aside when your M just to keep the peace. Right now I'm set for life if I keep an eye on my finances. Its not an exciting or glorious life. But it is a happy one. With gods help and some serious work on my end things are pretty good. I hope that my little story can inspire and set you at ease. But ya never will know how deep the pool is until you jump right in. I feel the number one culprit that gets in the way of ones personal happiness is fear. Once you overcome that, you can do almost anything. Best of luck to you and I look forward to hearing updates on your life.
Fireproof and Ama - I have considered taking a leave of absence but ultimately I really hate working for the company. I am the epitome of a disgruntled employee only, because I am management, cant show it and have to keep spruiking the joys of the company. It makes me feel duplicitous and fake. It is sad as I once loved working here, its been the longest job I have worked in (almost 10 years). Unfortunately a new CEO has introduced values that I do not agree with and stacked the place with like minded people. Think bullying from the top and 'yes men'.
Gardenparty - sounds like the change worked out well.
Stronger08 - sound advice on the financial side.
I am lucky in that I will be living in my mum's holiday house. Its solar powered, fed by rainwater and I don't have to pay rent. My bills will be reduced to feeding myself and my dogs, horse agistment, text books and running costs of car. I have crunched the numbers and can comfortably live for more than 6 months and still have an emergency fund should vet bills etc be required. I intend to get a casual job to pay my way so that I don't deplete all my savings.
Thanks so much for the encouragement everyone else who responded. It is scarey and exciting. I haven't been unemployed since I was 17
I also spoke with my former general manager (who recently left) and am in contact with the former CEO. I will keep my networks alive and can call on them for references or, most likely a job after completing my study.
I think I will learn a lot from the experience.
Status: D 2011
Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling