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Newest Member: new2this2 (45757)

User Topic: What the F, talk like a normal person would you???
sleepless34
♀ 40274
Member # 40274
Default  Posted: 5:35 PM, February 28th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Okay, just venting, procrastinating getting ready to go out with a bunch of neighborhood soccer moms...one of which is in the same hell as me but none of these happily marrieds know about the hell either of us is in so it will all be hush hush...anyway


Here is the note I got from Mr. Integrity when I asked him for the second time to either switch weekends with me, or I offered him first right refusal as I have to get a sitter 2x this weekend. This is from the ahole who said his main priority is the kids and he wants more time....

AND WHY DOES HE TALK LIKE SUCH AN ARROGANT AHOLE. This note could have been one line, "i will get back to you about switching weekends" without any of his added perceptions and opinions and bullshit about stuff he wants me keep saying so someone may start to believe it...just sharing what an ahole he is AHHHHH want to punch him in the pie hole

Dear Sleepless-
I wanted to let you know that I continue to look at the schedule to accommodate your desire to change our weekend parenting time to alternate weekends. As I have said before, it's important to get on a structured, fixed schedule so that the girls have the appropriate expectations for when they are with each of us. While I am always open and flexible to discussing changes to meet your needs and as we graduate to my request for equal parenting time, constant change to schedule causes unnecessary confusion for DD1 and DD2.

There are implications to changing the current, agreed schedule (holidays, mothers day, fathers day, birthdays, work events, existing scheduled personal time). That said, I am sure we can come to an agreement on amending the schedule to meet your requirement to be in alignment with your friend's schedule as you stated in settlement conference.

Also, as I mentioned in my earlier note and again in settlement conference, I have a training class this weekend that precludes my ability to look deeply at the schedule. I will look at it next week and will get back to you with suggested changes that addresses your request.

Thank you,


Me BW- 40ish, awesome
Cheating scusband 40ish
2 kids, elementary school age
Bomb dropped Aug 4 out of nowhere...

Posts: 443 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Hell
Gemini71
♀ 40115
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 5:37 PM, February 28th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WTF! Did he swallow a thesaurus? Or does he think he's Charles Dickens and getting paid by the word?


Edited to correct stupid typos.

Double Betrayal D-Day 7/26/2013
Divorced 11/18/2014

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.


Posts: 1980 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
gypsybird87
♀ 39193
Member # 39193
Default  Posted: 5:42 PM, February 28th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMG. He really thinks he's all that, doesn't he? It was aggravating just to read, so I can only imagine what it's like for you.

I'd send back: "k".


Me: Enjoying life
Him: Someone else's problem

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage. ~ Anais Nin


Posts: 1011 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Oregon
BtraydWife
♀ 42581
Member # 42581
Default  Posted: 5:48 PM, February 28th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'd send back: "k".


Me-BW
Him-WH
DD-March 2010
TT for 6 months
Unremorseful for 3.5 years

Delay is the deadliest form of denial. - C. Northcote Parkinson

Your standards aren't up for negotiation just because he/she can't meet them.


Posts: 2416 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: United States
SBB
♀ 35229
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 6:06 PM, February 28th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Next time you make a request you set a deadline. "If you do not exercise your FRR BY DATE TIME I will make other arrangements without further notice."

The sad clown used to pull this shit too until I broke that button he was pressing by setting a deadline. He's a good doggy now and does the same to me. I prefer it this way as it reduces the idle chit-chat.

They all pull this Father of The Year crap - ironic how "for the children" becomes oh, so important to them after blowing their lives up. As in an M it's all bullshit words - no action behind them. Whatevs dude. You can pretend all you want. We both know what you are and my kids will too someday.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5660 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Starzjourney
♀ 41287
Member # 41287
Default  Posted: 6:07 PM, February 28th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'd send back: "k".

^^^ This... I just spit all over my computer screen...


Posts: 146 | Registered: Nov 2013
blinders_off
34109
Member # 34109
Default  Posted: 6:12 PM, February 28th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

this reads to me as if it's written for a child custody audience. Especially where he says "as we graduate to my request for equal parenting time."

He is creating a "record" of being accommodating, incredibly worried about the girls' stability, and excruciatingly "reasonable"

Unfortunately for him, he sounds like a complete douche.


Posts: 358 | Registered: Dec 2011
one2ndchance
♀ 14759
Member # 14759
Default  Posted: 6:15 PM, February 28th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mirror the response with:

Dear Arrogant A-hole,
Thank you so much for your thought provoking reply. It's obvious that your in depth analysis of the matter concerning a structured schedule has been given much of your attention.

I assure you that I, too, would be open and flexible to discuss any changes you may ever want to an amended parenting period. It is, after all, to the benefit of all involved that any changes made to accommodate our individual schedules result in the time spent with the children to be of the utmost quality.

Since your training class this weekend will preclude your ability to find 2 minutes to review the schedule, then of course you can address solutions or alternatives to my request next week.


Me: BW 60
Him: STBXWH 62
Married: 25 years
DDay1: 2/2002; DDay2: 6/2012
Gave him his second chance and he blew it.
Divorce final: 9/2014

Posts: 486 | Registered: May 2007 | From: California
gonnabe2016
♀ 34823
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 6:37 PM, February 28th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have a training class this weekend that precludes my ability to look deeply at the schedule. I will look at it next week and will get back to you with suggested changes that addresses your request.


Well thank you Mr. Helper. Waiting until next week to look at your schedule is really going to help out a lot THIS WEEKEND!!!

While I am always open and flexible to discussing changes to meet your needs and as we graduate to my request for equal parenting time, constant change to schedule causes unnecessary confusion for DD1 and DD2.

If you guys don't yet have a placement schedule that has been signed by a judge....you really need to mind your p's and q's here because, even though it is pretentious as hell, he is using language directed towards a *decider* and he seems to be trying to *set you up*.


"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.


Posts: 8188 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Take2
♀ 23890
Member # 23890
Default  Posted: 6:40 PM, February 28th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

this reads to me as if it's written for a child custody audience. Especially where he says "as we graduate to my request for equal parenting time."
He is creating a "record" of being accommodating, incredibly worried about the girls' stability, and excruciatingly "reasonable"

^^My first thought too! After I got beyond the bile:

Be sure to save this email and send it back to him whenever he asks for a change!


"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?

Posts: 4167 | Registered: May 2009 | From: New England
Heal&Deal
♀ 30910
Member # 30910
Default  Posted: 6:44 PM, February 28th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He is creating a record for the court.

He is taking control by telling you to wait until he gets around to responding. Unless he is training for the fucking Olympic games, the dumbass has time.

He is tying his equal time request to your request. They tend to want equal time to minimize child support. Money is generally the name of the game, sad as it may be.

Thank him for his response and request a final response to your initial inquiry by COB 05 Mar 14. His timely response will allow adequate time to prep the girls for any future changes to their schedule.

What a fucktard.


Posts: 920 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: USA
haysuth01
♀ 29161
Member # 29161
Default  Posted: 6:51 PM, February 28th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This would be my reaction. Kudos to you for not murdering him.

[This message edited by haysuth01 at 6:52 PM, February 28th (Friday)]


XBS
Divorced 5/07.
DS-7! What?!
Happily remarried, B/G twins (5).

Posts: 220 | Registered: Jul 2010
shiloe
♀ 1224
Member # 1224
Default  Posted: 6:53 PM, February 28th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMG, that reads like a pretentious pompous ahole wrote it.

this reads to me as if it's written for a child custody audience. Especially where he says "as we graduate to my request for equal parenting time."
He is creating a "record" of being accommodating, incredibly worried about the girls' stability, and excruciatingly "reasonable"

^^^ This. I agree, I also thought he is creating somekind of record for the court if needed while I was reading it..


But remember, good love is hard to find . . -Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
BS - 54
Cheater -54
Married 26 yrs
DD - 21 DD -19 DS-17
A#1 2000 with married ho-worker/neighbor ow#1
A#2 2007-? OW#2 LTA with yet another married ho-worker. Kicked h

Posts: 635 | Registered: Mar 2003
Tripletrouble
♀ 39169
Member # 39169
Default  Posted: 7:00 PM, February 28th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What a tool. It sounds like he paid his lawyer to write it. Maybe he googled "how to sound like a huge douche" or "how to sound concerned about the kids I nuked when I cheated on their mother with a skank I found on the Internet" - because if so he nailed it.


40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013

Be happy with what you have while you work for what you want - Hellen Keller


Posts: 638 | Registered: May 2013
Cookie7088
♀ 30038
Member # 30038
Default  Posted: 7:07 PM, February 28th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And that's a sign of a man that no one listens to....he feels the need to over-speak himself, cause this is one of his only opportunities to do so....

I call it the "Professor complex."


Posts: 673 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: U.S.
Dreamboat
♀ 10506
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 7:19 PM, February 28th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

After reading that, I would send back "Never mind, I've got it covered." and just get a baby sitter.


And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17695 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
PhantomLimb
♀ 39668
Member # 39668
Default  Posted: 7:37 PM, February 28th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My X does this. It could be an email about the weather and it would sound like it belongs in the Declaration of Independence.

It's their NPD and a way for them to assert superiority and remain detached. Like a dog peeing on your leg, without the warmth and feeling.

I loved one2ndchance's reply. It's a little passive aggressive, but it gets the point that he's a d-bag across loud and clear.


BS / D

Posts: 863 | Registered: Jun 2013
ThisHell
♀ 37089
Member # 37089
Default  Posted: 7:50 PM, February 28th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Holy shit, lol

First of all, that's fucking hilarious. As were all the responses. Pompous asshole, I swear. But I totally agree, he's setting you up...

In the future, give a deadline on when he should get back to you to use his first right of refusal. Like, saying something along the line of, I have immovable obligations this particular weekend and want to extend the offer of additional time with the children or option to switch weekends....please let me know by such and such date if you this works for you. If I don't hear back by such and such date, I will make other arrangements for care for the children.


God dang, what an idiot. And right?! Who talks like that?


Me:BW, 34/Him:BH, 34/ 3 boys, 5,8,12
4ddays, now Divorced
We are not in Kansas anymore

Posts: 309 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: NC
PaperRing
♀ 19538
Member # 19538
Default  Posted: 8:32 PM, February 28th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh My God, I laughed so hard at this thread that I had to go change my pants. It's really really funny and also really scary because I know the hostility there is behind those words. So much hostility and the poor kids have to live it.


me- BS
Him - WS
2 kids- 5 and 8

Posts: 53 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Hell
tryingagain74
♀ 33698
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 8:34 PM, February 28th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Umm...


Did my XWH write that?


It's yet another chapter in the XWS Handbook: How To Sound Like An Overeducated Douchebag Who Really Cares About The Children So That You Can Talk Down To and Feel Superior To Your Ex.

Seriously. It's truly another part of their devolution from person to troglodyte as they continually seek to bolster their images with themselves and with anyone they know (or a court of law for that matter).

I love how your ex has to look "deeply" at the schedule. Is the schedule embedded in a holy text? Does it reflect the existentialist school of thought? Ay-yi-yi. Deeply.

It would have been nice if he had thought more deeply about, oh, I don't know, YOUR WEDDING VOWS!?!?

But yeah, most of them start spouting these arrogant, asshole missives. Sorry to say that it seems to be an integral part of the asshat XWS experience.


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3645 | Registered: Oct 2011
Topic Posts: 49
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