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Just Found Out :
We are not crazy

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 Aceofbase (original poster member #42458) posted at 12:45 PM on Saturday, March 1st, 2014

We are not crazy as our WS's say. We are obsessed with finding out what went on so are mind doesn't fill in the details.

The WS's are desperately hoping that we do not find out the truth and that it all goes away.

Until both parties understand that it is best for our relationship to talk about the A they are stuck in Limbo.

[This message edited by Aceofbase at 6:46 AM, March 1st (Saturday)]

DD: 12/18/2013
Status: R

Happiness is a choice.

posts: 149   ·   registered: Feb. 14th, 2014   ·   location: USA
id 6705973
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thyme2go ( member #12908) posted at 5:49 PM on Saturday, March 1st, 2014

Until both parties understand that it is best for our relationship to talk about the A they are stuck in Limbo.

Absolutely. My exww refused to talk about her A. Notice I said ex...

-t2g

BH - no longer 50
3 DD's - (32, 28 and 21)
Divorced on 8/6/09

posts: 9204   ·   registered: Dec. 10th, 2006   ·   location: ND
id 6706193
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Lovedyoumore ( member #35593) posted at 5:58 PM on Saturday, March 1st, 2014

You are absolutely right. Limbo is not R. My H kept us stuck in limbo far too long with TT and omission of some very important details. The long, flat plain of nothingness that eventually comes with the limbo life is damaging to both. The WS may feel like coasting is going well for them, but the relationship is being eaten up with doubt, secrets, and internal conflict. While I may not have started out crazy, the limbo made me feel like I was going to go over the edge. His choices and actions, my severely damaged heart and mind, and nothing being done to heal anything.

Me 50's
WH 50's
Married 30+ years
2 young adult children
OW single 20 years younger
Together trying to R

Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose

posts: 3626   ·   registered: May. 15th, 2012   ·   location: Southern, bless your heart
id 6706207
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Livingalie2014 ( member #42332) posted at 6:38 PM on Saturday, March 1st, 2014

I'm starting to feel like I'm going crazy. Searching for things, finding strange things and trying ago make sense of it. I found downloads that my WH was downloading things and I immediately suspected he was contacting and sending it to his AP. My WH said that I was going crazy and making connections and thinking things that weren't true. I just have no idea these days.

In three words I can sum up everything I learned about life: It goes on - Robert Frost

posts: 55   ·   registered: Feb. 4th, 2014   ·   location: Lost
id 6706255
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Breezy150 ( member #42421) posted at 9:25 PM on Saturday, March 1st, 2014

I agree completely, but I also almost believed I was crazy during the year long A because every time I accused WH of something it got spun back around on me. I wasn't crazy then and I am not crazy now.

Without full disclosure though it would be a lot harder.

I am so disappointed when a liar's pants don't actually start on fire.

BS me 41
WH 42 his whore was my friend
Married 24 years
Finally finding R?
3 kids 3 grand kids
DDay 1 -Jan 2 2014
DDay 2 -Feb 20 2014 A went underground fo

posts: 544   ·   registered: Feb. 10th, 2014
id 6706401
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lovehatelove ( member #42541) posted at 5:25 PM on Sunday, March 2nd, 2014

I'm apparently crazy too...

I need to stop living in the past... I need to stop making the past, the present... As my WH would say....

He also doesn't think I'm doing anything to help myself... He doesn't get that depression is consuming... And getting out of bed, is effort and just doing that sometimes, is helping myself....

WS are super clueless as to how A affect us.....

I'm fucking childish too, apparently... Bc I'm depressed and don't want to deal with my WH today...

[This message edited by lovehatelove at 11:27 AM, March 2nd (Sunday)]

DDay ~ 2/23/13

posts: 163   ·   registered: Feb. 20th, 2014
id 6707085
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