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Bs fog

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sweetangelbroken posted 3/1/2014 07:43 AM

We hear a lot about the ws fog here. I feel like a four year fog is just beginning to lift. I think it was so unbearable for me to even admit to myself that this was actually happening to me that I clung to lies and hope and false reassurances It distresses me that I allowed myself to pretend I believeb. It was unbelievable. Had it been happening to anybody but me, I would have cut thru the crap immediately.
Anyone else been in a fog?

Merlin posted 3/1/2014 08:14 AM

Yes. Infidelity is the most disorienting thing I have ever lived with.

veronique12 posted 3/1/2014 09:04 AM

Yep. It's a defensive mechanism. I was in it while the A was going on right under my nose too. Now I see clearly what was happening, but at the time I made excuses to explain away uneasy feelings. Try not to be too hard on yourself. I'm working on that too.

Jduff posted 3/1/2014 09:05 AM

Yes, I went through my own fog that was fed with all the gaslighting by WW and OM. It took 7 months but I got to the realization that this fog was keeping me hostage emotionally and thus in limbo.

BtraydWife posted 3/1/2014 11:22 AM

Yes I have. I think it's a normal response to trauma. I've looked back and felt disappointed in myself, I've felt I acted in a pathetic manner, I've wondered what it was I was trying to do.

I think it's very normal. This is a good thing, coming out of it. It's like reclaiming your sanity. You want a relationship that is loving, supportive, and honest.

Sometimes people have a tough time determining the difference between giving someone a chance to fix a mistake and staying in a hopeless situation.

Understand you went there out of pain. It was the adjustment you needed to survive. It's great that you are waking up. I bet you've missed you.

This is all going to be hard and no fun but you deserve the time and effort to get to a better place.

twitching posted 3/1/2014 12:31 PM

Yes. My fog was while the A was happening. Also deep depression. I'm on meds now.

Livingalie2014 posted 3/1/2014 12:40 PM

Yes, I feel this way. I'm in a fog because I want everything to go back to normal. I want my life back.

Livingalie2014 posted 3/1/2014 12:40 PM

Yes, I feel this way. I'm in a fog because I want everything to go back to normal. I want my life back.

Livingalie2014 posted 3/1/2014 12:40 PM

Yes, I feel this way. I'm in a fog because I want everything to go back to normal. I want my life back.

StuckinNJagain posted 3/1/2014 13:55 PM

Yes, still in it. IC told me it will take a while to come out of it. Its a numbness i have never experienced before. Troubl sleeping, binge eating and then not eating for days at a time. I cant concentrate enough to read (find myself reading same paragraph multiple times to comprehend). Throw in a little depression and i dont know how i got threw the day.
Taking it day by day, hour by hour and trying to keep busy. Idle time is a killer and leads to my mind wandering and all awful details of the A. Hope we can all come out of it stronger than when we went in.

keptmyword posted 3/1/2014 14:26 PM

After quite some time, I have to admit that in the few months leading up to D-Day I was in a type of "fog" that prevented me from realizing the truth from the obvious signs that were there. I don't know if it was a form of denial or a self-defense mechanism that wanted to prevent the incredible pain of realizing the truth.

Looking back, if I was a friend of myself, I would have been able to point out everything and say "Hey, there is something absolutely going on." My family could tell the signs and suspected it long before I ever did. My sister-in-law told my brother once after me and my XWW visited them that "I have no doubt whatsoever she is having an affair."

And she was.

Breezy150 posted 3/1/2014 15:22 PM

Yes, I think I was in a fog that kept from really processing what was going on. Also a second fog of depression and what ifs after DDay. I am not in a fog anymore, I see more clearly than ever exactly who my WH is.

Getthruit posted 3/1/2014 15:56 PM

Mine is the worst when I wake up in the middle of the night. I can't fall back to sleep thinking about what he might have done. My heart is still hurting.

Jduff posted 3/3/2014 14:09 PM

Mine is the worst when I wake up in the middle of the night. I can't fall back to sleep thinking about what he might have done. My heart is still hurting.

Oh boy, do I remember having those kind of nights too! I couldn't fall back asleep when I woke up in the middle of the night (usually between 3 and 4am) and then the darkness felt so suffocating that I had to get out of bed and into the bathroom or kitchen to turn on the lights to keep from having my anxiety shoot through the roof.

norabird posted 3/3/2014 14:51 PM

(((((sweetangelbroken)))))

I think our trust places us in a fog. That and our hope. It's our heart trying to protect our mind from the damage of truly KNOWING what is being done to us. Unfortunately it's not any kind of protection at all; but it's hard to face such a scary truth.

Coming out of it is a step forward in healing but it is painful, too. A shock to our already vulnerable systems.

However you're not alone. We've all been there and can tell you it is so, so normal. From the outside things are so clear but when it's you on the inside...it's hard to see the forest for the trees.

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