SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

Ivyivy posted 3/1/2014 20:36 PM

So I have been in limbo for 7 months since Dday. We have tried MC but so far that has been a complete waste of my time (MC was his IC and that was my mistake in agreeing). My WH is unhappy because I have not provided adequate support to deal with his medical issue since Dday (a few days post Dday he was diagnosed with a brain tumor (Karma)). I have tried to be supportive but he blocks me out - he is a physician and was in denial for quite a while - I had no information and I focused on my (and my kids) day to day. What kills me is that his family (3 brothers, one of them a twin) generally had zero information or input on anything to do with his health other than to tell me that he would die soon and I should take that into consideration and let him stay. We had another fight a few days ago when I again did not believe where he was (not that he was anywhere bad - just lying again). In any case, today he does the "I will move out." I have been asking him to do that for 7 months. He transferred money from our joint account. Guess what - still half mine at divorce time - no matter where you put it. So generally, WH is being a dick again. I wanted a divorce from Dday but could not push because I was being told that he would likely be dead within 6 months. I have been through hell trying to keep it together for the kids. At this point I am only in contact with one of his brothers (the one that did not put the "you owe him" shit on me after the affair). I have not spoken to his parents in 7 months (not that we were particularly close before).

In so many ways, I am fine if he finally moves out. I just cannot deal with what he did to me and the kids. But then there is the unknown. Thankfully, even without his financial support, I can make it with the kids (odd that I have always worked full time and never relied on his support).

Just nee some support right now - that's it.

TrustedHer posted 3/1/2014 21:58 PM

((((Ivy))))

norabird posted 3/2/2014 02:18 AM

I think any change out of limbo will be good (you have been manipulated by this threat of his death while not being given full info IMO) though I understand the fear of the unknown. It is not as scary as it seems though--after all, it's absolutely true you will be fine. The details will work themselves out but that truth remains.