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movingbackwards (original poster member #40612) posted at 5:57 PM on Sunday, March 2nd, 2014
When/how did you decide you were ready to file?
I know I don't want to be with WH. I think the damage he has done through TT and lying is probably unfixable at this point. I don't want to rush into anything, but I wonder how you all decided you were ready to move from S to D?
I have heard from some people to wait a year from Dday before making any permanent decisions. Others say when you know you're done, you know. Thoughts?
You can crawl back home, say you were wrong
Stand out in the yard and cry all night long
Go ahead and water the lawn
My give a damn's busted!
Phoenix1 ( member #38928) posted at 6:11 PM on Sunday, March 2nd, 2014
You know when you are done. For everyone it is different. Don't try to pigeon-hole your decision-making into some kind of artificial timeframe based on what others have done. Follow your gut.
When I confronted XPOS about last OW I also kicked him out in the same conversation and started the D process immediately. I was done.
fBS - Me
Xhole - Multiple LTAs/2 OCs over 20+yrs
Adult Kids
Happily divorced!
You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. ~C.S. Lewis~
scarednbroken ( member #41961) posted at 6:14 PM on Sunday, March 2nd, 2014
You will know when you have had enough. And in sme cases staying in the M can be dangerous. So a year wait can kill you. (Figuratively or literally) so if you are ready get those ducks lined up quickly and file.
BS: Me 47 WH: 54 Kids: 17, 19, 21, 32 DD: every yr Ow: tons Status: fed-up. A woman should never invest in a relationship she wouldn't want for her daughter, nor should she allow any man to treat her in a way she would scold her son for
Pippy ( member #16482) posted at 7:36 PM on Sunday, March 2nd, 2014
I could only take so much. He moved in with OW when I kicked him out and then came a problem with getting bills paid. I knew he wasn't coming back when I saw it in his eyes when he told me ILYBINILWY on D-Day so it was a no-brainer. If someone rejects me, I'm gone, even after a 30 year M. So I filed.
I divorced him because I didn't like his girlfriend.
soveryweary ( member #32265) posted at 8:22 PM on Sunday, March 2nd, 2014
((Moving))
You will know. I went through four years of on and off hell with the cheater.
I had threatened but never went through.
The final DD, that was it. It was a Saturday, I kicked him out of the bedroom and filed on the following Wednesday.
I honestly thought I could never go through with it. I don't know how to describe it except to say you will just know.
Divorced 1/3/14 after 31 years of marriage.
nekorb ( member #40306) posted at 8:31 PM on Sunday, March 2nd, 2014
I started to know the day he sent me an email saying that as long as we were S and not D, I would never be able to keep him from having access to the house.
It doesn't matter that it isn't true. It matters that he thinks it's true and he said it.
Add that he expressed to his aunt that the idea of staying with me makes him sick (he also told her he loves me as much if not more than the day he married me...he's so messed up in the head right now), and that sealed the deal for me...sort of...I'm actually getting ready to start a thread about that very thing.
Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 M - 22 Years
D-day: 7/2013; D filed 7/2014; Divorced 7-27-16
...the WS affair starts off in a dreamland where everything is all Golly, Wow! and Meant To Be! and Soul Mates drop from the trees to frolic in the mist. -devotedman
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