3 amazing kids (22, 20 & 17)
Right after I found out, I quickly said it would take a while, but I would forgive. And I began the steps to moving forward in the relationship.
It's been almost 2 years. There have been secrets I have found about recently- but they happened 2 years ago around d-day. Since then, he has basically been great except for his drinking.
I realized about 9 months ago that I was wrong- I never forgave H, and I don't think I am going to get there. I promised to forgive him, but I don't, and I can't.
You have more strength than me, with an exit strategy. So far, my plan has been sitting still and living an unsatisfying life. Hang in there
"What did you expect? I am a scorpion."
At least you have the honor and integrity not to cheat first.
Good luck and stay strong.
For the last year, he has been really nice. Maybe he senses that I am about done with him.
I am stuck at the moment because I am a SAHM who home schools the children. We have a big family, so financially it's not a good time. But I am taking midwifery classes, and I'm going to the gym every day, and sometimes twice a day. And I've lost about 40 lbs recently on the trim and healthy mama diet.
I am working on me, and I'm going to get healthy and strong and no one is ever going to treat me like this again.
Are you financially ok?
I think I have detached from him while living with him. I don't think I will feel any pain when I finally get rid of him.
Empowered is such a beautiful word.
I am another member of the "class of 2011."
My Dday was in May 2011. I never thought I could take back someone who would gut me like WH did.
I asked WH to leave on Dday, & we were separated for 4+ months,
while he continued contact with OW ( who he still works with.)
I forced myself to go back with him
(once I believed that the A was finished),
to keep the family together for the kids.
I know that I made the right decision for the kids.
A 6 year sacrifice for my kids (who I love more than anything in the world) is nothing.
I still love WH, & our day-to-day relationship is better than it was during the couple of years before Dday.
But, he is not really working that hard in R, & I don't know if the love that I have for him will be enough for me for the rest of my life.
We will have an empty nest in 3 1/2 years.
Then I will re-evaluate.
[This message edited by mchercheur at 8:12 PM, March 2nd (Sunday)]
He's a mommas boy and she does no wrong and he's the perfect son..
He doesn't even see it. If he does he chooses to be silent. Part of his R issues. He's avoids confrontation like the plague.
One thing that I have learned from this site tho is that it can take a really really long time for WS to "get it"----it can be a long process. WH is making slow as molasses progress----our MC keeps telling me to be patient, to look where he started from (head buried deep deep deep in the sand) & how far he has come from there.
I am still hoping for a miracle.