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Newest Member: hardtobear (45717)

User Topic: How long before an A is considered a long term?
Katz13
♀ 41886
Member # 41886
Default  Posted: 11:02 PM, March 2nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was just wondering if it is a time requirement to consider an A an LTA or is it an intensity thing? Thoughts?

Posts: 84 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: USA
sudra
♀ 30143
Member # 30143
Default  Posted: 11:14 PM, March 2nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

One year.


Me (BW) (55), Him(SAWH) (58)
Married 22 years, 1 son (19), 1 stepdaughter (27)
DDay #1 January 2004
DDay #2 7-27-2010 7 month EA/PA (became "engaged" to OW before he told me he wanted a divorce)
Working on R

Posts: 1514 | Registered: Nov 2010
HardenMyHeart
♂ 15902
Member # 15902
Default  Posted: 11:58 PM, March 2nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

wondering if it is a time requirement to consider an A an LTA or is it an intensity thing

It is considered a LTA based on the length of the affair. It's never been completely clear to me about how long before an affair is considered a LTA. My FWW's affair was 3 years and I consider it a LTA. However, I know there are SI members that had to deal with affairs that went on for decades.

Whatever the length of time/intensity you are dealing with, if you feel you would be better served by calling your WS's affair a LTA, then I don't think anyone would object. There is a LTA thread in the I Can Relate forum you may find helpful. Perhaps you can read some of the posts there and see if they relate to your situation.

[This message edited by HardenMyHeart at 12:03 AM, March 3rd (Monday)]


Me: BH, Her: FWW - Long Term EA/PA
d-day: June 25, 2007
Married 30 years, Reconciled

Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.


Posts: 5711 | Registered: Aug 2007
Jrazz
♀ 31349
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 1:48 PM, March 3rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

if you feel you would be better served by calling your WS's affair a LTA, then I don't think anyone would object.


This ^^. There's no technical definition for the duration of an Affair. Two months was WAY to long in my book, but in my heart I don't consider it a LTA so I don't call it that. Some people use the year as a marker, but you get to call it whatever makes sense to you.


"Sometimes people are mean, and sometimes things will be hard. One of your jobs is to try and make sure that that never makes you mean and hard, too." Cord Jefferson's Mom

Posts: 18283 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Topic Posts: 4

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