Here's the situation, please tell me your opinion. I feel so paranoid about being manipulated - manipulation is a big FOO habit of WH's.
Today at work a woman walks up to WH and says a co-worker told him that he liked a particular band that her boyfriend liked and wanted to know if he had a particular album. He said yes and she said he has a different one and asked if he wanted to swap thumbdrives of the album with her boyfriend. WH agreed. (Wrong answer! But I can also see how he'd feel backed into a corner and not know how to back out after saying he had the album.)
Shortly afterwards I pick WH up to head to MC, and he tells me "Something really weird happened today," and he proceeds to tell me about this conversation but tells me he was shaking the whole time they talked. I said something like "Yeah, boundary issue!" And he got angry at me and said "No, I'm talking about my social anxiety, I haven't experienced that in a long time and I'm worried it's coming back!" To which I replied that his nervous system was probably on alert because it was a boundary issue, which we should be more concerned about. He was pissed.
Then we get into MC, and MC mentioned how we both jumped to our biggest fears and that was why we clashed, but then WH went on to talk about how I've been a mess the last three days and this situation just overwhelmed him after everything I've been going through and that was why he got angry. Then the focus of the session turned mainly into how I need to work on keeping myself centered and not jump to my wounded self type stuff - and we need to do our best to focus on our life right now, the kids, and everything we have to be thankful for.
Yes indeed, in the last few days it's been very stressful, triggery, difficult. Totally feel like we need a break from stress and WH is seeming really fed up at the moment.
This woman at work makes me uncomfortable and WH knows it.
This past weekend WH mentioned to me that my lack of interest in his interests (namely music) in the past few years were one of the "factors" that went into play during the A. Not that he said it was an excuse or even a reason, but that he misses my shared interest that I used to show in music and it's one of the things that makes him feel loved by me. And OW did a great job of pretending she loved everything he loved.
So you can see why this boundary issue is especially touchy for me.
And now that I'm home I can't help but wonder if the whole social anxiety thing was essentially manipulating me into dropping the boundary issue and muting me. Because now that the focus of the MC session was that I basically need to move forward and focus on our life now that I need to just shut up about the huge boundary issue that is now happening.
Or is this paranoid thinking?