(((HUGS))) Listen, you're allowed to be human. You're not a machine and you're not an indifferent bystander. This is horrible, hard shit. And frankly, especially if a WH is acting remorseful, they SHOULD see the damage that they have wrought! He murdered your marriage, your trust, and your security. These are all things worth mourning. I fully remember sobbing so hard in my bed that my FWH would come in from the couch he was sleeping on, would comfort me until I regained my composure and then couldn't stand to have him near me again, and watching him leave to go back to sleep on the couch. You better bet he saw exactly what his actions had caused in me. And I don't regret clubbing him over the head with that at all.
You continue doing what you need to do to take care of yourself. And be kind to yourself. You're worth SO much kindness.