Hi all,
I rarely post in this forum but it seemed best for this question. Any input would appreciated!
I have a male friend. He is also divorced, also due to a cheating spouse. Though his D was several years ago, his XW still plays some headgames with him. Fortunately she's in southern CA, and he is in OR, so it's at a minimum... but in a way I think I'm further along the path to healing than he is.
Anyway, we met at a group salsa class. Just started talking and discovered the similarities of what we've been through etc. We like a lot of the same things. Since then we've gone out to dinner a couple of times, been to the zoo, caught a few movies (I go with him to the action flicks my girly movie pal doesn't care for). We attend the salsa class together and he usually picks me up, since it's in a crappy part of town with even crappier parking.
We have never kissed. We hug sometimes, but not every time, when we see each other. We occasionally text but never talk on the phone. Not long after we met we talked about our pasts and both of us said we had no interest in dating. Not each other, not anyone!
I'm still of that mindset. I have no interest in dating, and even if I did, I would not want to date this friend. I adore him as a person, but for me there is no spark there. I'm starting to get signals, however, that he is starting to feel differently. Little things he's saying and doing....it's freaking me out!!
His friendship is very important to me. He, as a person, is very important to me. But I have no romantic interest in him at all. I don't know how to handle this. Do I tackle it head on and say something? Last weekend he actually made me uncomfortable with something he just would not drop. If he does that again, I probably will say something for sure. I'm just worried. I don't want to hurt him. I don't want to mess up what has been a really great friendship for both of us. I don't want there to be weirdness in the salsa group, because I am totally hooked on it. (I should mention this is rueda Cuban-style salsa you do in a circle, changing partners constantly. Very fun! But no, he and I are not doing steamy hot traditional salsa with each other, lol. Most nights we dance together very little.)
What should I do? What should I say? I feel so stupid. Someone posted not long ago asking can a guy and girl truly be platonic friends, like in the movies. I responded and said yes. Now this is all screwed up and I'm not so sure.
Any advice would be much appreciated, especially from any Menz who might be reading.
Thanks for listening.