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So tired of dealing with WH day to day

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Ivyivy posted 3/5/2014 20:13 PM

So things were calm for a few days. Today WH is all pissed off. Apparently he wants to move to live closer to his parents and it is my fault that we live near my family. We met here 16 years ago. We started living here because of him. He has expressed interest in moving over the years but never in a serious or realistic fashion. Now all of a sudden it is my fault, I am unreasonable and refuse to compromise. Really. What type of impact does that have on me? I wish there were someone in his world that would actually talk some sense into him (from a human perspective). He has 3 siblings, his twin lives near us. It is so getting to the point that I feel like I am just reaching the end of this journey and need to move forward with D. In so many ways, I know that D is the only answer that will ever bring me peace. I just need to get to a place where I have the strength that I know I will need for that fight. I am so tired of all of this.

norabird posted 3/5/2014 23:30 PM

Oh the unending joys of wayward thinking.

No advice, just wanted to say you've been heard.

My ex talked in a totally crazy fashion about our moving in a few years to VT where we know no no one and where I would give up my career and friends for our future family. This was at a time when he had pretty much already decided to cheat. Still makes me mad!

I know that's a t/j but your WH just reminded me of it--the selfishness, the irrationality.

And as the rational partner you're just left trying to explain that they have it all wrong while knowing that you aren't being heard.

Aggravating is an understatement for it!

Ostrich80 posted 3/6/2014 03:17 AM

I call those days, just more nails in the coffin of our M. Sometimes you just have to shake your head and realize, I don't even f**king like you.

Raven96 posted 3/6/2014 07:00 AM

I call those days, just more nails in the coffin of our M. Sometimes you just have to shake your head and realize, I don't even f**king like you.

EXACTLY!!!! Thank you for this, Ostrich. I have these days, and I think I'm going crazy.

Ivyivy, is your WS still in his affair, or is he just so unhappy that he is trying to bring you down, too. Some people just don't know how to be happy, and are always thinking a "change" is just what they need, when in reality THEY are the ones that need to change.

Whatever you decide you need to do...end or continue this journey...I wish you strength and peace.

Ivyivy posted 3/6/2014 07:53 AM

Raven96 - As far as I know he ended the A as soon as I found out. I have no rational reason to suspect otherwise. I just find that at this point when we talk, I try to be rational and he has his head up his ass. This is just another example of it. From Dday he has claimed that he has wanted to R. He is doing IC and we have tried MC (with his IC which was a big waste of time). I guess in many ways I just don't get him and when he takes a stance of "I want to move," my reaction is, how can you even seriously ask me that now.

I think I can posted 3/6/2014 14:10 PM

Tell him, "Just remember, wherever you go...there you are."

Raven96 posted 3/6/2014 21:24 PM

I'm glad you feel like he ended it. Now it sounds like he's looking for a new "happy."

If you don't want to move, I hope you won't. Its one thing if he's TRYING to R, but this is just too big a risk to you. Not fair at all that he's asking, or even mentioning it.

Stay strong. I hope your rollercoaster ride comes to a complete stop soon, one way or the other.


Skan posted 3/7/2014 14:19 PM

Tell him that he's a big boy and if he wants to move, well, then he can move. YOU aren't going to move, but that's beside the point. If he feels so strongly about this then don't let the door hit your ass on the way out!

And then go have a pedicure and a massage. On him.

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