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Sad in the UK tonight

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foreverempty posted 3/6/2014 18:53 PM

This is a completely selfish me, me, me post.

Feeling down and very lonely tonight, tucked up in bed with my dog Ebony.

Been a tough few weeks, been down quite a bit, had tough times in work due to bullying and other childish stuff which up till recently I've coped well with, had the consent order agreed at court giving me the house and confirming I keep the other two which is great but big financial responsibilities... (XWW gets a dresser and a lamp and that's it, no cash at all!) oh and a 4500 solicitors bill..

Thing is I wish I wasn't alone anymore. Just want to be cuddled up with someone right now talking about how I'm feeling, someone for support who isn't my mum or dad, someone who doesn't lick my face early hours of the morning when she wants to go out for a wee!

I miss XWW, miss DD, was her 4th birthday last week, miss coming home to a kiss and a cuddle, miss being part of a team and working towards our families future.

Scared I'll be alone forever and have no one in my life, wife or children when I get older and am a little infirm and frail or ill. Silly thing is, the thought of ever falling for someone again scares the life out of me.

Wish I could see the future to know wether there is even any point in ever getting out of bed again as right now it seems like a whole load of wasted effort

Counselling isn't Fixing me at all and it finishes in 2 more sessions which scares me more than a little too!!

Sorry to vent, very negative man tonight...

FaithFool posted 3/6/2014 19:00 PM

It's just a phase FE, it will get better.

You will turn a corner eventually and look back down the road you've travelled and realize that you survived.

We have all been where you are tonight. Big hugs.

Harriet posted 3/6/2014 20:48 PM

((foreverempty))

I know it's not that same as real hugs.

Last night, out of the blue, I had the urge to call my ex and tell him come over and hold me. I haven't touched the man in about 2 years, but just missed being held tight. I couldn't imagine doing it with anyone else, either. All to say, I know how you feel.

Hugs from the U.S.

nowiknow23 posted 3/6/2014 21:03 PM

Aw, hon. This is all so very familiar. I'm sorry you're so low right now. It will sound like an empty platitude, but I promise you - it does get better. Don't let the "never, ever, won't, can't" stuff stick in your head. You have a lifetime ahead of you that I guarantee will be filled with joy, love, and family.

Hang in there. Walk through this step by step. You will get to happiness. I know it's out there waiting for you. ((((forever))))

BrokenSpirit50 posted 3/6/2014 21:08 PM

((FE))
I'm so sorry you are feeling that way tonight. So many of us can relate to the same feelings.

Scared I'll be alone forever and have no one in my life, wife or children when I get older and am a little infirm and frail or ill. Silly thing is, the thought of ever falling for someone again scares the life out of me.

I have to have hope and keep reminding myself it WILL get better and I won't be alone.

Scared I'll be alone forever and have no one in my life, wife or children when I get older and am a little infirm and frail or ill. Silly thing is, the thought of ever falling for someone again scares the life out of me.

I used to have a vision of the future but now when I look forward it is completely a blank canvas. I just have to find the paints!

Cyber hugs to you.

stronger08 posted 3/7/2014 02:58 AM

Dude, I have 20 years on you and if you thinks its bad at your age, try doing this at my age. While I certainly understand where your coming from and can relate, what you need to do is look at it in a different angle. You have just scored a major victory after long hard battle. Its natural to feel worn out and weary. Sure the future looks very lonely and scary right now, but this is the first day of the rest of your new life. The future will be what you make of it from here on in. This is an unwritten chapter in your life and you get to be the author. I suggest you take a little time to mourn your loss and get yourself together. Then get out there and start living. Rediscover things you used to enjoy but gave up because you got M. Get in touch with old friends and hoist a few pints at the pub. Create a new social circle and start living. The child situation sucks, but you get used to it and so does the child. Use the time you spend with her to the fullest. Like the rest of us you will have your ups and downs in the dating department. One word of advice would be to get comfortable with yourself before dating. It makes things easier that way. While life as you had envisioned may have changed, there still is a life out there. Your not the first guy to get D and you certainly wont be the last. And for every man who finds himself suddenly single, there is a woman who is in the exact same spot. Fear not because I believe that we all have a destiny. And this is part of yours. One day when your least expecting it love will smack you in the face again. And perhaps this time it will be who you were meant to be with. Stay positive my friend and life will become a positive experience.

HurtsButImOK posted 3/7/2014 03:33 AM

FE, strength bro.

The down times hurt and rightfully so. This is a pain that we didn't deserve and didn't expect or ask for.
Be kind to yourself. One day there will be sunshine.

Stronger - I think his DD was adopted and lost to him due to the situation. I may be wrong.

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