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What makes a good friend?

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fireproof posted 3/7/2014 21:34 PM

It use to be that I knew what that meant- but as we grow as adults there is a fine line between helping and sounding like the individual is not doing something correctly.

What makes the difference? Trust or the length of the relationship?

Is a good friend someone who sacrifices their friendship for the sake of someone's health by telling the person they are not getting better and suggest alternatives or is a good friend someone who sits and watches the person continue to struggle trying the same thing for years?

I am grateful for my friends but as adults which is a better friend?

Sad in AZ posted 3/7/2014 21:38 PM

I guess it depends on what you need and are willing to hear.

I've never had a problem telling it like it is to friends, but I don't push them to take my advice. I love them as they are and wish them the best always.

My estimation of a good friend is that your best friends don't judge you.

Amazonia posted 3/7/2014 21:42 PM

I would say that a good friend is someone who is able to intuit what their friend needs from them in that moment, and does what they are able to provide it.

There are appropriate and inappropriate times for both options you listed, and I think both can happily exist in the same friendship. Sympathy and solutions aren't diametrically opposed to one another.

When someone is down and struggling, throwing solutions at them can feel like kicking them when they're already down. That's when you need to bolster them emotionally, encouraging them. When they are feeling stronger or more aware of the problem from a more removed perspective, likely not in a moment of pain, they will be more open to gentle suggestions and solutions - but even then, remember that it's a discussion and ultimately not your decision.

fireproof posted 3/7/2014 22:44 PM

Thank you- I will give it time.

I always find myself in the same spot 2 years, 3 years, and 8 years.

I am there and thanks for reminding me what a true friend would do.

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