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Newest Member: dylan123 (46056)

User Topic: I pushed too far
Neveragain1221
♀ 41969
Member # 41969
Stop  Posted: 9:51 PM, March 7th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

EDIT: This topic was posted in anger, and is not conducive to my BS or myself being able to heal. If Mods could delete it, that would be awesome.

[This message edited by Neveragain1221 at 8:38 AM, March 8th (Saturday)]


Me: WS 26. 4 year EA and PA.
Him: BS (MercifulH) 27.
D-day 1/3/14.
Separated heading to D :(

Posts: 84 | Registered: Jan 2014
LosferWords
♂ 30369
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 10:45 PM, March 7th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Never... boundaries work both ways, and you don't have to quote "keep your mouth shut".

The interactions with your husband's ex girlfriend sound very inappropriate to me.

I think probably one of the biggest factors of healing from a WS side is having strong boundaries, and enforcing them. It's okay to enforce your boundaries with your husband. It is up to you what the consequences are if he breaks those boundaries.

The fact that he is undecided on R or D does not give him a license to do whatever he wants.

Are you in MC? If so, this would be a good topic to bring up.


There will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears. And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.

Posts: 8296 | Registered: Dec 2010
grains
♂ 32590
Member # 32590
Default  Posted: 11:42 PM, March 7th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am sorry this is happened to you. LosferWords is right about boundaries - it is for everybody to honor. I hope your BS comes around. I felt that it was very inconsiderate of him to have that conversation. We are responsible for our actions and their consequences. I just hope he realizes that crossing boundaries will lead to more suffering. Please keep your strength and your boundaries. It is alright to be angry as long as we understand its source and are able to express it in an acceptable way - blowing up is acceptable as long as there is no physical and verbal violence. It must be difficult for you. I wish you both well on your recovery and reconciliation.


WH 60
BS 50
No Children
Together 17 years
Married 7/21/2001
D-day 03/01/2011

Posts: 313 | Registered: Jun 2011
Deeply Scared
♀ 2
Member # 2
Red  Posted: 7:35 AM, March 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Neveragain1221...

Please do not delete your posts, it's against the guidelines and also pretty insulting to those that took the time to reply to you.


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 199228 | Registered: May 2002
metamorphisis
♀ 12041
Member # 12041
Red  Posted: 7:36 AM, March 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

.

[This message edited by SI Staff at 7:36 AM, March 10th (Monday)]



“We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.”... Anais Nin

Posts: 45432 | Registered: Sep 2006
Topic Posts: 5

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