In his quest for freedom, he set me free!
I hope you feel better soon...
Just continue on and you will eventually get through *this* and be able to move on.
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.
Hang in there. It WILL get better.
Double Betrayal D-Day 7/26/2013
Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.
I'm sorry you are going through such pain. Like you, my therapist is amazed at my progress. Yet, like you, I am grieving the loss of so much that accompanies divorce: my hopes, dreams, security, safety. The loss of my marriage and family is like a dull ache I carry around with me that frequently still flares into despair and loneliness.
But like Stronger said, we had no choice. It had to happen. The choice was his throughout (and hers in my case). My STBX "never wanted a divorce." Neither did I. But she never tried. So it was with heavy heart that I filed, and with heavy heart that I am pushing through to the end.
Rabecca, as it's been said so many times on this site, these people are broken. Something is deeply wrong with them. And they are just bad, bad people whom we will be so much better off without. But for now I know it is brutally difficult--especially with young children, as I have too.
I won't say "you are so young still" because I know that if I were your age instead of mine, the pain would still feel the same. But there is life waiting for us. Just keep going, know that all your loneliness, all your exhaustion are so normal and expected, as this is how good loving people experience this.
Keep going and stay strong.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
Your heart knows its right or you wouldn't have had the courage to do it, just give your brain time to catch up and believe it.
I repeat it in my head as necessary.