I caught my husband having an affair. It was emotional, but only because of the geography. He would have slept with her had she been local.
He swears he loves me. He swears he was stupid and lost. I. Don't. Care. We'd been together for 20 years, married for 13, have 6 year old twins.
I am getting angrier by the day. I have lost 50 pounds, can't sleep, and have severe shoulder pain because of the stress. I want to have an affair just to escape the pain, even though that isn't like me. If someone had told me 10 months ago, I would even be considering this, I would have scoffed.
I am a wreckage of my former self. I no longer wear my wedding rings because they are a symbol of a broken promise. I am now a cynic, where I used to be a romantic. I no longer believe in marriage, where I used to consider becoming a wedding planner. I no longer believe in soul mates.
Marriage counseling didn't work. She couldn't give me the tools to get past this. I don't want to hurt my children, but I am no longer the person I was. I don't want him to touch me. I don't want to talk. I want him to go away and let me curl up into a ball. BUT IT HAS BEEN 10 MONTHS! I am also drinking too much. I can't do that with my children. They are my life. I will do almost anything for them, but I can't get over how much this hurts.
I will 'suck it up and deal' for them, and only them. But when will this hurt go away?