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Just need to vent - selfishness...

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fraeuken posted 3/9/2014 14:44 PM

Some part of NB do suck. As much as I am enjoying the ride mostly, I need to vent today:

- Dealing with the fallout of selfish xh producing more offspring with sparkly panties. DDs unhappy, texting me, telling me how much they hate to be with him etc. His parents unhappy, not putting that on me and being supportive of me and DDs, but I do grieve for them because they are good people with a rotten son who has lost all his marbles and now they have to deal with having a grandchild they will not get to know. Just thinking about future family dynamics make me shudder.

- Dealing with continued saga with my renter, who yet has to move out. Every agreement we made for her to move, she has broken. She knows full well that I really don't want to spend time and money on the eviction process which is not the easiest in California. She pays her rent late, only half because she is supposedly moving out... So she keeps giving me a date and then does nothing to move and then catches up on the second half of her rent, so legally I can't go after her. Hasn't paid utilities for months but keeps happily using laundry etc despite me telling her to use the laundromat. As much as I would like to turn off power, gas and water to her part of the house, I legally can't. She could actually sue me for that!!! And now she is standing in the hallway downstairs bitching about me to her daughters.

- Had some major disappointment with a friend yesterday who really hurt me with what he said to me knowing my story of having lived through infidelity. Some people don't have filters and don't understand the pain and devastation of this. Don't want to share the whole gory story but I was shocked at the heartlessness of some people.

I am emotionally drained today. Made the mistake of having some wine last night with a friend and it sure lived up to its reputation of being a depressant. Cried myself to sleep, but at least my kitten came to join me and keep me company.

VENT over.... Picking myself up and calling a friend in Germany now to just chit chat and take my mind off things. Thanks for listening.

nowiknow23 posted 3/9/2014 15:28 PM


persevere posted 3/9/2014 15:50 PM

(((fraueken))) Give yourself today, get a good nights sleep and tomorrow will be better.

As for the renter, are there some steps you can start taking to lessen her options and move that process along? What a nightmare.

MyVoice posted 3/9/2014 16:03 PM

((( fraeuken))) I agree tomorrow will be better

fraeuken posted 3/9/2014 16:43 PM

Yuck, it's not helping that it's that time of the month... phew, I am glad I don't have to interact in person with anybody today. They would not be safe...

So, I just put on loud music and am throwing myself at re-arranging furniture in DDs rooms as we had discussed a while ago and sorting more stuff for donations. If my renter has not vacated by the 15th I will file for eviction with the court on Monday. Time to move on.

Williesmom posted 3/9/2014 16:48 PM


That a lot of things that suck. Take today to check out of it. Tomorrow, take a deep breath and kick ass.

Runningaway posted 3/9/2014 19:44 PM


I am so sorry you are dealing with this.

Your renter saga has convinced me to never share a house with anyone other than family.

inconnu posted 3/9/2014 20:02 PM

it's not helping that it's that time of the month

ah, missed my thread I started last week titled "stupid fucking hormones" didn't you? it's no consolation, I know, but at least you're not alone.

cayc posted 3/9/2014 20:07 PM

Ooh I really feel you about your friend letting you down. I just went through that. A good IRL friend who has seen what I've gone through did that to me. I've NEVER raised my voice to a female friend before in my life, but I did this time. I was angry at what she was saying and shocked to my core to hear the insensitivity.

And when that happens, when you're support system kind of jabs at you, it makes shouldering the other stuff loom larger somehow.


[This message edited by cayc at 8:54 PM, March 9th, 2014 (Sunday)]

fraeuken posted 3/9/2014 20:24 PM

I will eventually post those pictures of the bathroom and bedrooms she has been living in. I swear, it's the stuff you see on TV. Thing is, if you see her, you could never tell.

Unless I absolutely have to, I will never, ever share a place again with anybody. I am looking to downsize next summer when DD16 is off to college and we don't need all this space anymore. Until then I spend less on certain pleasures but will have this place to myself.

chessbug posted 3/10/2014 19:19 PM

Not sure if this is the correct forum but I need to vent before I explode. I lost my youngest son (24) in a terrible accident. (His stepson.) Instead of being there to console me, STBXH decided to admit that he has been sleeping with hookers UNPROTECTED for the last 14-15 years of our 19 year marriage. FF 2 months and now he wants to get help and make things work. How many ways can I say NO!

Grief counselor says I cannot properly process my grief until STBXH is out of the picture. I am counting the days.
Thanks for listening.

InnerLight posted 3/10/2014 20:23 PM

Chessbug, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. That is truly terrible. Welcome to SI, I know it's confusing at first where to post! Soon you will know your way around and find it a 'comfortable' place to share your experience. You might find the Just Found Out Forum or the General forum the best place to start a thread of your own to share your story. We are definitely open to venting, as this is a safe place to do it and I can see you have a lot to vent about!

New Beginnings is generally where people go to talk about starting over again once the dust starts to settle after a separation/divorce and when we are ready to recreate a new life for ourselves.

I wish you all the best as you heal from this trauma.

chessbug posted 3/10/2014 21:01 PM

Thank you. I am definitely ready to start over. Can't wait for this divorce to be done. I will look into the other locations you mentioned. I plan to land on my feet and get into the single scene ASAP. I am 58 years old and didn't think this is where I would be at this stage. Oh well. Thanks again.

Bebba1171 posted 3/11/2014 22:34 PM

Frau, you will be just fine. I am so very confident of that.

I bet your panties are more sparkly than your XH's wife! Your are very beautiful inside and out.

Big hugs.

Should I ever get canned from my job, I want to come rent from you and will pay months in advance just to have that privilege.

Stay away from that Vino girl!

Big hugs again Frau!

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