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Ann56texas posted 3/9/2014 22:12 PM

I found out six months ago that wh was having an affair with a family friend. We were just starting to do things together, traveling . My wh told me everything and my daughter heard him confess to me. The ow who is married too is telling everyone including her husband that they were just "talking". But that's not the truth. Her husband has chosen to believe her even after he called me to hear the whole story. I feel like writing him a letter to tell him they are still talking and tell her how I feel. My husband seems to think its "just a mistake" even though it was for over a year. My heart is sick. I saw his car near her work the other day and he lied about it. (Professional liar) he also said that I could have anything and everything if I don't involve her (depose her)...I'm sick but really want to tell them how I feel,, stupid idea?

Gotmegood posted 3/9/2014 22:26 PM

I get it how hurt you are. I get it that it must drive you crazy that OW and her H are going with a different story, one that is not the truth. But I feel like you have done your part in having told the OW's H on the phone what you know. I think you would be better served at this point in working on the problems that your WH has created in your M.
That they are still *talking* seems troublesome to me. As is the lying about his whereabouts. Has he committed to NC?

BtraydWife posted 3/9/2014 22:30 PM

So your husband is still in contact with her?

As far as the OBS are you saying you spoke with him directly? As long as you got to tell him the truth what he does with it, you can't control. You can't make him care if he doesn't.

Are you divorcing? I'm confused what is going on. If you divorce you can certainly depose her if you want to. It's not up to your WH. However you might be able to negotiate a better than usual deal if you agree not to.

So what's going on?

LifeIsBroken posted 3/9/2014 22:35 PM

Absolutely depose the OW. XH's bimbo was subpoenaed to testify at our D hearing. Smartest thing I did, for several good reasons. You owe her nothing. In fact, you owe your ws nothing at this point.

lastdance posted 3/9/2014 22:57 PM

you contact a lawyer as soon as you can and yes you depose her----those are the consequences of their actions----besides you get to hear the truth and not the lies your cheating,liar of a husband gives you....he is trying to protect her---do not make that your problem,,,your hubby is just playing head games with you......do not write the letter unless your lawyer tells you its ok to do it...you need to shock your husband into reality,,,,he is only looking out for the ow.......... THE TRUTH HURTS,BUT I HAVE NEVER SEEN IT CAUSE THE PAIN THAT LIES DO

Ann56texas posted 3/10/2014 11:45 AM

I did talk to a lawyer and I will depose her. One of her relatives told my friend that "this has been going on"... Which crushed me all over again. I knew he was lying all through our marriage. My children are adults and don't have much respect for him left. They try to avoid him. He hasn't really tried to "woo" me back. He's so sociopathic that he keeps saying"the balls in your court, not mine" so sad because he had it all. But now that I really look at it, I was always trying to fix him. We went to counseling,etc. and ha always said everything was great. He didn't know why he was there? Then I found out he was with her the whole time we were in counseling???