It is very hard initially to even wrap your brain around what has happened. It is surreal when you think she did this to me, to us. We get that.
Be kind to yourself, and know that no matter what she says or does you are not the cause of this. Her freezing, and her accepting the attentions of another man need to be examined, and worked through. She has to figure out why she thought it was acceptable to even go down that path, and why she continued when she knew it was wrong.
What is she doing to help you at this point?
What are you doing to help you at this point?
Sorry, but no one justs "panics and freezes" into an A. She may have been pressured to turn the EA into a PA. But, isn't having an EA bad enough?
Get "Not Just Friends" and start reading. It will help you to really understand it.
Sorry this happened to you and your children.
Has she ever told you she was abused as a child?
Just about anything can trigger a buried terrible memory, smell of aftershave, color of the room, name...I would think sex wouldn't since she never froze with you.
The freezing up part could be a lie, or it could indicate something serious did happen to her as a child and that needs attention now. Probably from a therapist.
Her statement is not something that can be brushed aside with the usual I dont know and I dont remember answers either.
[This message edited by craig2001 at 12:19 PM, March 10th (Monday)]
I don't sleep much, the first few nights I could not get the images of WH and OW out of my head, enjoying each other and having all kinds of amazing sex. Even though WH says it was awful and he felt guilty. Umm, couldn't you tell that just by kissing?
Sorry you're here. This board has been a great source of support for me.