Well it has been a little bit over 9 weeks since DDay. Sometimes I feel like it happened yesterday and sometimes when I remember all the pain I feel like it has been years and I'm a completely different person now. The roller coaster of emotions is not as crazy as it used to be...I still cry and remember every single detail every day but I am finally accepting that it is over and that is my biggest pain. Knowing that a part of me is gone and that our "perfect" relationship is not happening anymore, that I am alone again, that my best friend/lover/boyfriend is no longer sleeping next to me is heartbreaking but I realized that I have no choice than stand up, pick up the pieces of me and move on.
Last week Monday the OW showed up in my office asking for her job back. YES!! She had the nerves!! She was out of the company for 18 months because she claimed she got hurt and claimed workers comp...we all knew it wasn't true but there wasn't much my boss could do. Now she said she is ready to come back and even though my boss doesn't want to hire her back I think legally he has to...anyway it was a low blow. I will need to quit my job
Some baby steps:
-I take a shower everyday again...TMI? sorry I'm being honest, for the last 9 weeks I didn't even wanted to get up from bed.
-I started doing exercise (hiking)
-For the first time, I went to a restaurant by myself
-For the first time I went to the movies by myself
-I went to a bar after 3 years...it wasn't great but I had a good time
-I was able to drink 1 margarita after 6 months (it was scary because after 2 sips I got a TERRIBLE headache!) anybody knows why?
It is still hard to socialize but I can be around people now. I'm still scared of being alone my whole life, scared I will never fall in love again or that man will ever love me....thanks I just wanted to share.