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MadeOfScars posted 3/10/2014 13:17 PM

I figure while I'm in this horrible mood today, I'll bring something else up. I know it's not actually the case (this site being evidence of course) but it seems like everyone I know is in a happy marriage with kids, and here I am 35, no kids, and about to be single again. It. Sucks.

Co-workers, my closest friends, you name it - committed happy relationships all around me. All constant reminders of what I once had and what I want so badly to have again once/if I heal. I know I am no where ready for another relationship right now, but I do know this - I really miss being married already. I know I need to get past that and be happy with myself first, but still...

I know I dwell on it now since I'm in the midst of a divorce, and I know for a fact there are tons and tons of others who have been or are on this same path. It just seems like I'm surrounded by what I used to have, and the constant reminders are getting harder and harder to deal with.

ThisHell posted 3/10/2014 13:24 PM

((soulhurts)).

I feel you... its funny, for the longest time I would see seemingly happy couples or families and it was like I had the opposite reaction: I'd look cynically at them and wonder who was actually cheating on who? What was under that fake happy family façade... it does get easier. Its so hard though..I'm sorry you are struggling

MadeOfScars posted 3/10/2014 13:40 PM

While I don't hope for it, I do realize that of all those couples around me, odds are a few relationships will eventually fail either for infidelity or other reasons. My best friend is on his second marriage after the first wife cheated and left him, so I also know there is hope for me.

I may get to the cynical stage at some point. I think I'd rather be there than believe everyone else has it figured out except for me.

[This message edited by SoulHurts at 1:46 PM, March 10th (Monday)]

TheThreeYearFool posted 3/10/2014 16:11 PM

For the first month at least after D-Day I kept asking myself what did all these other happy couples have that I didn't.

I even threw myself a little pity party at seeing my BIL and his wife so happy together at their house for Thanksgiving. Another reminder of what I didn't have.

Well, BIL's marriage imploded spectacularly in the last few months. No infidelity apparent but BIL's wife completely abandoned him to live thousands of miles away.

It shook me up and helped me realize that I have NO IDEA what's really going on in all those so called happy couples I see everywhere.

norabird posted 3/10/2014 16:23 PM

I try to look at them and feel hopeful for the future. However I do know what you mean.

If it helps at all, 35 (36, 37, 38...) is still plenty young to start a family.

MadeOfScars posted 3/10/2014 16:49 PM

Good points TheThreeYearFool and norabird. You never really do know what's going on in other's relationships. I also know I'm still young enough to start a family. Hell, my dad was 44 when I was born, and I don't feel like I lost anything for having an "older" father. He was my hero, God rest his soul.