Cookies are required for login or registration. Please read and agree to our cookie policy to continue.

Newest Member: Starrystarrynight

General :
Happy Couples Everywhere...

This Topic is Archived
default

 MadeOfScars (original poster member #42231) posted at 7:17 PM on Monday, March 10th, 2014

I figure while I'm in this horrible mood today, I'll bring something else up. I know it's not actually the case (this site being evidence of course) but it seems like everyone I know is in a happy marriage with kids, and here I am 35, no kids, and about to be single again. It. Sucks.

Co-workers, my closest friends, you name it - committed happy relationships all around me. All constant reminders of what I once had and what I want so badly to have again once/if I heal. I know I am no where ready for another relationship right now, but I do know this - I really miss being married already. I know I need to get past that and be happy with myself first, but still...

I know I dwell on it now since I'm in the midst of a divorce, and I know for a fact there are tons and tons of others who have been or are on this same path. It just seems like I'm surrounded by what I used to have, and the constant reminders are getting harder and harder to deal with.

"Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t." - Steve Maraboli

posts: 3219   ·   registered: Jan. 27th, 2014   ·   location: Texas
id 6717915
default

ThisHell ( member #37089) posted at 7:24 PM on Monday, March 10th, 2014

((soulhurts)).

I feel you... its funny, for the longest time I would see seemingly happy couples or families and it was like I had the opposite reaction: I'd look cynically at them and wonder who was actually cheating on who? What was under that fake happy family façade... it does get easier. Its so hard though..I'm sorry you are struggling

Me:BW, 34/Him:BH, 34/ 3 boys, 5,8,12
4ddays, now Divorced
We are not in Kansas anymore

posts: 309   ·   registered: Oct. 10th, 2012   ·   location: NC
id 6717922
default

 MadeOfScars (original poster member #42231) posted at 7:40 PM on Monday, March 10th, 2014

While I don't hope for it, I do realize that of all those couples around me, odds are a few relationships will eventually fail either for infidelity or other reasons. My best friend is on his second marriage after the first wife cheated and left him, so I also know there is hope for me.

I may get to the cynical stage at some point. I think I'd rather be there than believe everyone else has it figured out except for me.

[This message edited by SoulHurts at 1:46 PM, March 10th (Monday)]

"Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t." - Steve Maraboli

posts: 3219   ·   registered: Jan. 27th, 2014   ·   location: Texas
id 6717946
default

TheThreeYearFool ( member #41218) posted at 10:11 PM on Monday, March 10th, 2014

For the first month at least after D-Day I kept asking myself what did all these other happy couples have that I didn't.

I even threw myself a little pity party at seeing my BIL and his wife so happy together at their house for Thanksgiving. Another reminder of what I didn't have.

Well, BIL's marriage imploded spectacularly in the last few months. No infidelity apparent but BIL's wife completely abandoned him to live thousands of miles away.

It shook me up and helped me realize that I have NO IDEA what's really going on in all those so called happy couples I see everywhere.

Me - BW 36
Him - WH 41
Together 12 years, married 7
3 year LTA with former coworker
DDay 10/29/13
He says he wants to R... can I live with what he's done?

posts: 165   ·   registered: Nov. 3rd, 2013   ·   location: United States
id 6718182
default

norabird ( member #42092) posted at 10:23 PM on Monday, March 10th, 2014

I try to look at them and feel hopeful for the future. However I do know what you mean.

If it helps at all, 35 (36, 37, 38...) is still plenty young to start a family.

Sit. Feast on your life.

posts: 4324   ·   registered: Jan. 16th, 2014   ·   location: NYC
id 6718202
default

 MadeOfScars (original poster member #42231) posted at 10:49 PM on Monday, March 10th, 2014

Good points TheThreeYearFool and norabird. You never really do know what's going on in other's relationships. I also know I'm still young enough to start a family. Hell, my dad was 44 when I was born, and I don't feel like I lost anything for having an "older" father. He was my hero, God rest his soul.

"Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t." - Steve Maraboli

posts: 3219   ·   registered: Jan. 27th, 2014   ·   location: Texas
id 6718237
This Topic is Archived
Cookies on SurvivingInfidelity.com®

SurvivingInfidelity.com® uses cookies to enhance your visit to our website. This is a requirement for participants to login, post and use other features. Visitors may opt out, but the website will be less functional for you.

v.1.001.20250404a 2002-2025 SurvivingInfidelity.com® All Rights Reserved. • Privacy Policy