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followup questions re: Dallas

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Lionne posted 3/10/2014 17:22 PM

So, my DS#2 is moving from Jersey to Dallas. His facility will actually be in Irving. He'll be domicile hunting in April. Renting, as I suspect he sees this as temporary. Any specific places to avoid? Ideally, he'd like to rent in a duplex or similar so he'd have a garage for his Harley...

NotDefeatedYet posted 3/10/2014 19:11 PM

DFW is like 6.5 - 7 million people. Every city has its places to avoid, and places that are great. Where is he looking specifically? I used to work in Irving, but I live south of Arlington.

hurtbs posted 3/10/2014 19:39 PM

Scaredy... can I ask.... I'm assuming that your son is a grown man. Why do you feel the need to do research for him about where to live? Is there a reason he is not capable of doing this himself?

Lionne posted 3/10/2014 20:00 PM

Well, he is grown!? But he is only 25. And I am his mom. I'm just trying to get a general feel.

Maybe this is a stupid question and I'm being silly. Doesn't stop me from asking.

He is heading halfway across the country, all alone.
If your kid was heading to Jersey I would probably be able to direct him or her to some specific areas and away from others.

It's hard to get an idea of high/low crime areas on zillow/trulia/craigslist for instance. Or maybe the DFW area is so spread out this isn't so well defined?


Lionne posted 3/10/2014 20:07 PM

It's just him and a car and a motorcycle. Very little furniture. A good job, some shift work. He's currently paying $1200 a month for a teeny appt but that includes everything. He took a small pay cut in order to take this install job.

I think he'd like a house with other people close by and garage access. He's never lived by himself except for the last few months, always had roommates. He's a mensch.

Maybe he should get an agent? He doesn't have much time to look around.

[This message edited by scaredyKat at 8:12 PM, March 10th (Monday)]

hurtbs posted 3/10/2014 20:20 PM

Scaredy - it strikes me as a little odd that you are wanting to direct and navigate this move for him. By your own account he is a 25 year old man and has lived on his own and supported himself. I'm not trying to attack you, but there is harm you do to your child when you do not appropriately let go. At 25... it seems appropriate.

Perhaps step back here and let him navigate this big life change on his own? Not allowing your children to grow up and navigate life without your direction and guidance can be quite damaging. Will it really hurt him if you let him sort this out? Does it give you some sense of control or feeling of continued belonging in his life by providing this type of direction?

Your FWH is an SA. My xWH is an SA. It's common for spouses of addicts to have co-dependency issues. This type of behavior really speaks to that tendency. Did you get treatment for yourself while your husband sought treatment for his?

Lionne posted 3/10/2014 20:31 PM

Hurt, I always appreciate your input. I assure you, I am not directing this. I'm merely trying to get some "on the ground" information from people who are familiar with an area of the country that I have visited only briefly, and he has visited not at all. He is an independent person, and yet, asks me for guidance in what I consider a healthy way, about practical things, moving, packing, what to wear on his first day of a new job, laundry, cooking, etc. He and I have talked about the various sections of Dallas and I told him I'd see what I can find out, without revealing my source, SI.

I've considered your words and I thank you but I'm not micromanaging this. Just being a supportive parent.

traicionada posted 3/10/2014 20:31 PM

What part of Irving? I live in the suburbs because I have 3 dogs but most of single friends in their mid-20s & 30s live in what we call uptown Dallas but it might be a bit of a drive depending on which side of Irving his job is. Btw, finding an apartment in Dallas is a piece of cake in comparison to anything up north.

Lionne posted 3/10/2014 22:18 PM

Thanks, Traicionada. I'm sending you a PM. He has only 2 days to search as his company is keeping him busy training here and in Europe.

purplejacket4 posted 3/10/2014 23:42 PM

The area around valley ranch is very nice. My mom lived in an apartment there for ten years. She also worked in north Irving. Also there are some nice duplexes in Coppell. I don't remember the name of the neighborhood but she lived in a duplex on Grace Lane for another ten years. She was in apartment property management so she was VERY picky.

tushnurse posted 3/11/2014 08:16 AM

Irving is rather large in square miles, and having lived and worked in the adjacent areas I can say that he will have NO trouble in finding a quality apartment complex/condo/townhome with a garage.
I lived in Coppell which is land locked, meaning all developable areas are developed. Next door to me was Grapevine, LasColinas (which technically has an Irving Zip Code) and Lewsiville. If he isn't having to travel into downtown for work he can really choose any of those surrounding areas. Dallas is truly a transplant city, meaning you meet very few people that were born and raised there as residents.

Since his company is doing the move, and has a facility there already, I am willing to bet they have recommendations on apartments, and so forth already. If he is looking and works on or right off McCarthur he may want to look at a place off of beltline, a lot less traffic on it than McCarthur. Runs parallel, and has many crossroads to reach it.

ajsmom posted 3/11/2014 08:23 AM

Wow - quite the thread jack going on here.

Maybe this is a stupid question and I'm being silly. Doesn't stop me from asking.

It's not a stupid question and you're not being silly. I'd be doing the same thing if it were my boy.

In fact, I did when AJ moved across country to go to law school at roughly the same age. These are big decisions that take an army and I sure as hell wanted to know where he was.

It's what we moms are good at.

Nothing like the collective wisdom of folks who know areas really, really well.

SI - the movin'-cross-country-info-pot-o-gold.

Ain't nothing like it.


cantbelieve posted 3/11/2014 10:18 AM

I tried to help my 24 year old son look for affordable housing in LA (ha ha). Las Colinas is nice. Here is a link about crime rates for different areas. I used one like this to steer away from high crime.

You are just being a are moving for him, just helping.

Lionne posted 3/11/2014 11:09 AM

Thanks, all! I'm writing this down and will suggest he take these suggestions to an agent. The company will pay but doesn't have a presence there yet. He will be among the first wave.

As for the t/j, I am certain Hurt was speaking from a place of love. DS has made his share of mistakes, I've sat back and watched them, he learns. I give advice where asked and if appropriate and let it go. He will be fine.

Of course, the mama bear in me WANTS to follow make his bed and install shelf liner. Won't be doing that.

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