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concerns about exposing OP

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JustCali posted 3/10/2014 20:03 PM

I have read many people advise exposing the WS' s AP. I understand the angle of thinking the AP's spouse has a right to know too, but I am struggling with wondering if that could be a bad and dangerous idea. News like that is shocking and devastating. Specifically, I want to expose my WH's OW but what if the OWs Husband was so enraged that he could come after my husband in rage. I mean...stuff like that does happen. I totally want to expose so that she has consequences too but I would never risk anyones personal safety. What do you guys think?

lastdance posted 3/10/2014 20:09 PM

do it.....did they think about the consequences ---why do you care---just do it---you are the betrayed so is the other guy....just do it

UndecidedinMA posted 3/10/2014 20:14 PM

He has a right to know that his wife was careless with his health if nothing else. I would hate myself if I later found out he contracted something life threatening & I could have warned him.

LostSamurai posted 3/10/2014 20:35 PM

DO IT. Take it from me. When my WW first admit it we cover it up and rug swept since it was just kissing.

I confronted OM and told him to back off or I will hurt him. I also told him I forgave him.

LOW and BEHOLD 2 years later and he was screwing my WW.

DO IT!!! You will regret it if you don't.

MammaMia posted 3/10/2014 20:39 PM

DO IT!!!! I wish somebody had told me from day one.

I know many posters would object to it, but you could make an anonymous call or send an anonymous letter. Either way the spouse will find out. Then play dumb if your spouse questions you.


Like lastdance wrote: did they even think of the consequences? Maybe they had maybe they had not. What all cheaters and their paramours believe is that they will not be caught so there will be no consequences...right??? But they get careless and finally they are caught.
To sum it up:

By ALL means do something!!!

[This message edited by MammaMia at 8:42 PM, March 10th (Monday)]

Allornothing posted 3/10/2014 20:47 PM

Any SIer will tell you that exposure kills affairs. The OW's husband deserves to know what he is dealing with, and who his wife is.

I understand your concern, but actions have consequences, although physical violence is certainly not the answer.

However, there are things you can do to protect yourselves, and vigilance is key. Be aware of what's going on around you when you two are out and about, and if he turns up at your home, don't answer the door, call the police.

You're right Cali, personal safety is important, take it from someone who has an unstable OW abusing her every day. That said, I don't regret letting her BP know about the A for a second.

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