I think what you are going through is only too common. I found out 10 months ago and although I did all the digging then and questioning and shouting, screaming, crying you name it,for many many weeks, it only got some of it out of my system. My husband was immediately remorseful and gave me access to all phones, ipads etc and entered into a NC immediatley, but 10 months later, I am still angry and hurt and like you, I am a changed person. I always used to look for the good in people, and always gave others the benefit of any doubt, now I don't. I don't like what it has turned me into and I hope it will pass.
If you surpressed it at the time, as it sounds like, it has all just festered underneath and is now coming to the surface. Let it out and deal with it, with your husband, as someone else has posted on this site, you have to go through this, not around it.
Please accept that you are still hurting and that it will take time to heal completely.
The love and trust we had in our partners took time to build in the first place. They have smashed that into pieces so we have to start again, only this time the foundations are in a mess as well.
You can get through this, its just very hard with no shortcuts.