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Newest Member: HellYeaimdone (45730)

User Topic: Counting down
chessbug
♀ 42726
Member # 42726
Default  Posted: 9:36 PM, March 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not sure if this is the correct forum but I need to vent before I explode. I lost my youngest son (24) in a terrible accident. (His stepson.) Instead of being there to console me, STBXH decided to admit that he has been sleeping with hookers UNPROTECTED for the last 14-15 years of our 19 year marriage. FF 2 months and now he wants to get help and make things work. How many ways can I say NO!

I let him stay just long enough to get results from STD test. At least it was all neg. Don't really know why I worried about it. He hasn't been interested in me in a long time. Now I know why. I am 5'2" and 120lbs. I take care of myself. Now I know it wasn't me.

Started countdown from 60 days last month. (That's how long divorce takes in Texas.)

Grief counselor says I cannot properly process my grief until STBXH is out of the picture. I am counting the days.
Thanks for listening.


Posts: 15 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Dallas
MovingUpward
♂ 14866
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 9:48 PM, March 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Glad to hear that you are working with a grief counselor. For those two events by themselves are devestating enough. Sending you healing thoughts.


(((chessbug)))


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 52994 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
chessbug
♀ 42726
Member # 42726
Default  Posted: 9:59 PM, March 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Actually, I am looking for dance classes now. He just wanted to stay home all the time. No friends, etc. Then he would say he needed to go to the "gym". Now I know where his gym was.

Posts: 15 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Dallas
BAB61
♀ 41181
Member # 41181
Default  Posted: 10:36 PM, March 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((chessburg)) It's always a shock ... and on top of the loss of your son, it is too much. You do what you need to do to heal ((chessburg))!!


Boss A** B*tch
BS/52 Me, STBXpos/56, dd's 16&14
1st D-day 10/19/2013 EA/PA
2nd D-day 12/7/2013 LTA/Rendezvous
S 12/7/2013 No-fault state, 6 mo S, counting down the days.

Posts: 1271 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: DE
chessbug
♀ 42726
Member # 42726
Default  Posted: 10:44 PM, March 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for the support. I am just trying to find a way to have a life. Never thought I would be single at this age, but it is certainly better than the alternative. 35 days and counting before I can get a court date. Can't wait.

Posts: 15 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Dallas
Lyonesse
♀ 32943
Member # 32943
Default  Posted: 10:46 PM, March 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so very sorry to hear about your son. Yes, this thread is an excellent place to vent. There are also people on this website who have been through all kinds of things; sometimes it helps to know that someone else has been where you are at, and what helped them to get through.

I know you will find support here; I wish you the best in your healing process.


Me: BS, 40's.

Posts: 1797 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: West Coast
chessbug
♀ 42726
Member # 42726
Default  Posted: 11:13 PM, March 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you. I know I will get through this. Other people did. Right now I am just angry that he didn't come clean about all of this years ago. There are a lot of things that would have been different by now.

Posts: 15 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Dallas
FightingBack
♀ 34770
Member # 34770
Default  Posted: 11:26 PM, March 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Chessbug,

I'm so very sorry. The only thing that I can imagine being worse than infidelity is the loss of a child. My youngest is the same age as your son and I am afraid to imagine your grief.

If that is the kind of comfort your H can give you, by running you over when you are down on the ground, then you are right to count the days until you are free of him.

((((((((Heartfelt Hugs)))))))))))


Me 53
WH 58
Married 25 years
4 children S30,D24, S23,S21
D-Day Nov. 29, 2011
15 year affair with married employee.
Together trying to make sense of it all!

Posts: 809 | Registered: Feb 2012
iamsoblind42
♀ 42022
Member # 42022
Default  Posted: 11:42 PM, March 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so sorry for your loss. I am counting down as well. Is 92 days in Colorado. I have 42 left. I hope at the end of your countdown you have peace and that your future is a happy one.


I'm a survivor, I'm gonna make it, I will survive, keep on surviving...

BS: me 42
WH: 48
2 kids
Married 18 years
D-day - 1/11/14
Filed - 1/16/14
Divorced 4/21/14
Walked in on WH and BF while her H watched


Posts: 212 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Colorado
chessbug
♀ 42726
Member # 42726
Default  Posted: 12:00 AM, March 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There is no way to understand some people. STBXH said he likes hookers because they just finished with another man. That was his turn-on. He can have them. And good riddance.

Posts: 15 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Dallas
Skan
♀ 35812
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 12:18 PM, March 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ah, chessbug, I am so very sorry. Sorry about the loss of your dear son, and sorry that your WH has turned out to be a philandering prick. You're right if screwing anything that is OK with taking money for laying on its back is what he thinks of as true intimacy, then leave him to his whores.

May I suggest that you go down to the Separation and Divorce forum and talk to the folks down there? They will be able to support you through your waiting period of time and give you some good guidance as to things you need to be aware of, during your divorce. (((hugs)))


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 5097 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
chessbug
♀ 42726
Member # 42726
Default  Posted: 12:53 PM, March 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks. I will check out that forum. I am new to posting on forums, so not sure what and where. I am still finding junk that he left here and if feels so good each time when I get it out of my house. I miss my son so much. He was the one I could talk to about almost anything. Don't know that I would give him all this info. TMI for mother-son conversation.

Posts: 15 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Dallas
Topic Posts: 12

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