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chessbug posted 3/10/2014 21:36 PM

Not sure if this is the correct forum but I need to vent before I explode. I lost my youngest son (24) in a terrible accident. (His stepson.) Instead of being there to console me, STBXH decided to admit that he has been sleeping with hookers UNPROTECTED for the last 14-15 years of our 19 year marriage. FF 2 months and now he wants to get help and make things work. How many ways can I say NO!

I let him stay just long enough to get results from STD test. At least it was all neg. Don't really know why I worried about it. He hasn't been interested in me in a long time. Now I know why. I am 5'2" and 120lbs. I take care of myself. Now I know it wasn't me.

Started countdown from 60 days last month. (That's how long divorce takes in Texas.)

Grief counselor says I cannot properly process my grief until STBXH is out of the picture. I am counting the days.
Thanks for listening.

MovingUpward posted 3/10/2014 21:48 PM

Glad to hear that you are working with a grief counselor. For those two events by themselves are devestating enough. Sending you healing thoughts.


chessbug posted 3/10/2014 21:59 PM

Actually, I am looking for dance classes now. He just wanted to stay home all the time. No friends, etc. Then he would say he needed to go to the "gym". Now I know where his gym was.

BAB61 posted 3/10/2014 22:36 PM

((chessburg)) It's always a shock ... and on top of the loss of your son, it is too much. You do what you need to do to heal ((chessburg))!!

chessbug posted 3/10/2014 22:44 PM

Thanks for the support. I am just trying to find a way to have a life. Never thought I would be single at this age, but it is certainly better than the alternative. 35 days and counting before I can get a court date. Can't wait.

Lyonesse posted 3/10/2014 22:46 PM

I'm so very sorry to hear about your son. Yes, this thread is an excellent place to vent. There are also people on this website who have been through all kinds of things; sometimes it helps to know that someone else has been where you are at, and what helped them to get through.

I know you will find support here; I wish you the best in your healing process.

chessbug posted 3/10/2014 23:13 PM

Thank you. I know I will get through this. Other people did. Right now I am just angry that he didn't come clean about all of this years ago. There are a lot of things that would have been different by now.

FightingBack posted 3/10/2014 23:26 PM


I'm so very sorry. The only thing that I can imagine being worse than infidelity is the loss of a child. My youngest is the same age as your son and I am afraid to imagine your grief.

If that is the kind of comfort your H can give you, by running you over when you are down on the ground, then you are right to count the days until you are free of him.

((((((((Heartfelt Hugs)))))))))))

iamsoblind42 posted 3/10/2014 23:42 PM

I am so sorry for your loss. I am counting down as well. Is 92 days in Colorado. I have 42 left. I hope at the end of your countdown you have peace and that your future is a happy one.

chessbug posted 3/11/2014 00:00 AM

There is no way to understand some people. STBXH said he likes hookers because they just finished with another man. That was his turn-on. He can have them. And good riddance.

Skan posted 3/11/2014 12:18 PM

Ah, chessbug, I am so very sorry. Sorry about the loss of your dear son, and sorry that your WH has turned out to be a philandering prick. You're right if screwing anything that is OK with taking money for laying on its back is what he thinks of as true intimacy, then leave him to his whores.

May I suggest that you go down to the Separation and Divorce forum and talk to the folks down there? They will be able to support you through your waiting period of time and give you some good guidance as to things you need to be aware of, during your divorce. (((hugs)))

chessbug posted 3/11/2014 12:53 PM

Thanks. I will check out that forum. I am new to posting on forums, so not sure what and where. I am still finding junk that he left here and if feels so good each time when I get it out of my house. I miss my son so much. He was the one I could talk to about almost anything. Don't know that I would give him all this info. TMI for mother-son conversation.

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