SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

Gemini71 posted 3/10/2014 22:46 PM

I've always wanting my boys to be in scouting, but the younger kids need a parent to attend with them, and I couldn't be in three places at once. STBXH would take them to meetings for a while, then quit. Plus it can be expensive.

Since STBXH moved out and we're losing the house, the kids and I now live with my parents. My Dad loves taking the boys to their scouting meetings and is helping pay their fees.

Tonight I took my DS11 to the troop Court of Awards while my Dad took DS8 to his pack meeting. DS11 received his Scout rank which includes a pin for me to wear on a red ribbon. He was so proud to put the pin on me and had such a great time. It was the first Joy I'd felt in a long time.

SASTBXH did not attend. He probably didn't know DS11 was getting an advancement. Not my problem. He gets the same troop emails I do. Plus, he was probably at IC related to his acting out and recent arrest. He'll experience it via Facebook like any number of my acquaintances and distant relatives.

The point is, I experienced Joy again, even if it was just for a moment. And it came from an activity that DS11 and I could not have done if we were still with STBXH. Hopefully, this is just a glimpse of things to come.

ArkLaMiss posted 3/10/2014 22:52 PM

Congrats. Job well done!

Gemini71 posted 3/11/2014 02:54 AM

And two hours later, I want to rant a rave about OW/xBFF and SASTBXH. Roller coasters suck, but at least I know that the good is starting to return, and the lows are more anger than sad.

Two steps forward, One step Back.

homewrecked2011 posted 3/11/2014 03:21 AM

Take it from me,,,,,,try really hard to move on w/o x in the picture... I tried really hard to "over inform" him of all the kids activities, because I was living in the dream world that he could ever be as awesome as my own Dad... Now I find out, the kids really didn't want him at their stuff anyway. Now XWH brings OW (my previous "friend") and her kids to everything.

I wish I would have tried to put XWH in a place of uncle status or something,, our healing would have begun much quicker, and the kids wouldn't be so upset now when he missed visitations and their activities because he puts OW first. They could have just had my Dad and my nephew as their people to model and look up to.

Enjoy the time with your Dad, sons, and when you post on fb, custom who sees it and don't include WS.

[This message edited by homewrecked2011 at 3:22 AM, March 11th (Tuesday)]

bigskyblues posted 3/11/2014 04:32 AM

Gemini, congratulations to DS11 for his great accomplishment! Also kudos to you and gram-pa for helping your DS's down the scouting path. What a great way to learn good values, and to experience positive role models.

I know it is hard (it still is for me) but if you don't expect much from your STBXH then you won't get hurt as much. Waywards are just simply broken and are not going to be able to provide the positive interaction that your kids deserve. They have a great mom and gram-pa that are making the difference for them!

Congrats
BSB

Pass posted 3/11/2014 14:32 PM

That's great, Gem. Eventually there will be more happy moments like this. They could even start to become downright commonplace!

You're still on a rollercoaster, but it's slowly starting to smooth out.

Jennifer99 posted 3/11/2014 14:51 PM

Love when I get to hear about warm fuzzies in the middle of sad.