As for trust, that has to be rebuilt a piece at a time through actions. You might have to do some verification like checking cell phone records or ask for his email and passwords just to check on him so that you can see if his words match the action.
As for the hysterical bonding (HB), if he is unwilling to earn his trust back then HB might be his way of distracting you. But if he is working hard to earn trust back then I don't see why HB should be stopped.
He said " he had lied even more than he had already confessed?"
Are you sure it was just a EA?
2 yrs ago I got the exact same story. EA only. Later found out PA and he STILL lies to this day. Said it would never happen again, she was special.
Hysterical bonding - FUN!
1 month after telling H I am pregnant (when we thought I could NOT ever get pregnant again) I'm now cycling through 6 kinds of hell. There are multiple online A's of weird sorts and who knows what more because I thought we were different and all this SI stuff didn't apply to us. WRONG
Love yourself enough to stop all time you spend with him and read, read all the stuff here, buy books and read, get counseling....START RIGHT THIS MINUTE putting yourself first and only.
It can only do good, not bad, I promise.
I mostly don't go to the "just found out" forum because I'm afraid to post responses like this.
Honestly, if I knew then what I know now - I would have had him move out (as he expected me to do and now I can't GET him to do) and for us being together ever again to be contingent on IC for us both. I also would not have sex with him until I felt as loved as I did pre-A.
BUT, then I wouldn't be having this wonderful daughter that he thinks is not his (cheaters love to project) and deal with a divorce while pregnant.
I keep telling myself that on the other side of all this there is a blessing somewhere and hopefully my daughter and son will forgive me.
Are you sure it was just a EA?"
The woman he was talking to lives several states away and neither of them traveled as far as I know, so I'm pretty sure that it was just an EA. Thank you for your reply.