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lucy17 posted 3/11/2014 12:32 PM

I can't get her out of my head. I scan FB for pictures of her and I compare myself to her. I know I need to make her less important. But she made WH "happy" and he chose her at my expense so many times in 3 months. She has become one of the most important people in my life. She definitely contributed to the biggest life/self change for me. He's given her so much power and I don't know that I can take it back.

bionicgal posted 3/11/2014 12:37 PM

Lucy - I hear you, and it peaks and falls with me. I have a few days where I don't think about her much, and then I am talking to her in the car non-stop. Funny thing is, it isn't her. It is whatever my H was so drawn in by, that he couldn't get away -- which actually had little to do with her as a person . . make sense? She could have been anyone.

That is why the APs don't matter. Hop over to the wayward side and read the post about what made the APs worth it, and you'll see some interesting perspectives. The only thing that made the AP special was opportunity and availability. A trained monkey could do that.

whattheh posted 3/11/2014 12:38 PM

AP has no power. Your fWH chose you not her. OW is a nobody and is nothing to you or him. OW was just a body to eff and nothing more.

Seriously challenge yourself to no more OW monitoring and you will eventually be set free from your obsessive thoughts. This and time passing will help.

Monitoring OWs FB is like a bad habit so just kick it. You can do this!!!!

[This message edited by whattheh at 12:41 PM, March 11th (Tuesday)]