SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

finallymefirst posted 3/11/2014 14:36 PM

I love, love, love being single, but I was wondering what do u miss the most about the opposite sex:

I miss broad shoulders
I miss hard bodies
I miss sexy dancing.
I miss hand holding and cuddling
I miss kissing
I miss smiling that special smile for that special someone
I miss being caressed
I miss just hanging out
I miss hearing deep masculine voices
I miss inside jokes
I miss having info that I'm anxious to tell my guy.

Having said all of that, I will not sell my soul again to experience any of it.

BelleStar posted 3/11/2014 14:44 PM

I miss the feeling that I was "special to him" like no one else in the world. That when we were out together we could feel comfortable chatting in different groups and yet somehow would manage to look across the room at each other at the same time and give a special wink to each other....knowing that the best was for later when you got home.

I guess you'd call it a feeling connected in heart and mind...

But it all went to hell in a hand basket, cause I wasnt special and I must have been high on unicorn farts

norabird posted 3/11/2014 16:04 PM

Back rubs!

Also I like to be laid on top of (not sexual, honest--just having someone lie on my back and feeling the pressure of their weight is comforting).

I love my friends but I don't think there is anyone I would ask to do these things for me or who even could do them the way a SO does.

Also, having someone to open jars for me, though I just ask my friend and roommate, who is stronger than I am when it comes to lids. Stereotypical, but I struggle with opening things!

And intimate things like looking in someone's eyes in bed...others I won't mention!

oh well, all in due time.

prowoman posted 3/11/2014 16:26 PM

I will steer clear of all the areas I'm in danger of going TMI and say- someone to help me carry my groceries.

woundedby2 posted 3/11/2014 16:51 PM

I miss cuddling and kissing.

I miss the comforting warmth of someone in bed with me.

I also miss having someone else to mow the yard and deal with plumbing issues.

GreatRoleModel posted 3/11/2014 17:20 PM

KISSING! its been way too long
Holding hands...
Having someone to help with prioritizing house repairs and working on them together.

Williesmom posted 3/11/2014 18:24 PM

I miss sleeping with someone.

SadInNC posted 3/11/2014 19:02 PM

I'm not D's yet, so my opinion probably doesn't meant much here. However, I am faced with it as a probability and I think about this stuff.

I am totally there with the jar opening problem! There are contraptions that you can buy at the store that will solve this problem. If that doesn't work, bring the damn jar with you to work and ask for help, call a friend, go to a neighbor. If all else fails, smash the jar on the counter. It will open at that point, and you will never want to buy whatever is in it again.

I would miss all the other stuff, too. When my car breaks down, he is there for me. I won't have that any longer. That is scary to me because I know nothing about car mechanics. Who is going to mow the lawn? ME?? WTF??

Intimacy. Well, I will miss the GENUINE intimacy we had before all the bullshit lying and A. Looking soulfully into his eyes, hasn't happened in so long for me, I can't remember what that is like.

Kissing? No problem. You can get that anytime you want. Just go out for the evening to a singles bar. It isn't love everlasting, but it could feel good for a few hours.

Life isn't perfect. Our spouses messed us up. We have to find the strength and the determination to move forward. Eventually, if we want it and are open to it, we can and we will find true love. I believe this because there is a piece of my heart and soul that my WH did not obliterate.

hurtbs posted 3/11/2014 19:47 PM

I miss waking up in the middle of the night and having someone breathing on your neck.
I miss the smell of a man on my sheets.
I miss having someone to talk to about stupid, little things that aren't worth picking up the phone for.
I miss inside jokes.
I miss being attracted to someone who is into me.
I miss regular sex!!

[This message edited by hurtbs at 7:48 PM, March 11th (Tuesday)]

sunsetslost posted 3/11/2014 20:18 PM

I miss the look. The "at this moment you are perfect and I am so completely in love with you" look.
We went to a minor league baseball game with some friends of hers. I told their son I would get him a ball. He had never gotten one. I said I promise. Sure enough, one came right to me. I caught it and looked at STBX. I'll never in my life forget that look.

FlySomeday posted 3/11/2014 22:45 PM

Sunset- That was a very cool moment. I miss holding hands too. Holding a hand that fit perfect in mine. I miss laying down next to someone with my head on their chest (not his ...just someones) and I miss sharing the mundane trials of the day. I miss sharing our children's joys and hilarity. *sigh*
-fly

MinorBee posted 3/11/2014 23:09 PM

nevermind, too depressing

[This message edited by MinorBee at 11:10 PM, March 11th (Tuesday)]

gonnabe2016 posted 3/11/2014 23:36 PM

I agree MinorBee, this is depressing. Because the thing that I miss the most is being able to have someone to turn to and say "Remember when...." to.

Jeez, I need to get myself back to therapy.

stronger08 posted 3/12/2014 08:28 AM

I miss the companionship.
I miss intelligent conversation.
I miss that feeling of contentment after making love.
I miss trusting someone enough to go out on a limb once again.
I miss a lot.
But its sure better than what I had with XWW.

Leia posted 3/12/2014 09:10 AM

I miss just sleeping with someone--no sex, just knowing there is someone beside me in bed. I sleep with the dogs now, so that helps (there is something seriously wrong in the Universe when STBXWH gets a new girlfriend and I end up sleeping with dogs--just sayin'). That is just about the only thing that I miss and the dogs are pretty good companions. I can do my own plumbing, I've decided to hire out yard maintenance--yep, I can mow but it is worth the $$ to not have to do it myself. I've figured out how to open my own lids (hot water over any stuck lit works great!) and I can move furniture my myself. I am capable. It may not be the "best" but what I do does work! That is the real new beginning for me.

libertyrocks posted 3/13/2014 15:09 PM

I miss the companionship.
I miss intelligent conversation.
I miss that feeling of contentment after making love.
I miss trusting someone enough to go out on a limb once again.

I want this too. ^^^

Plus, cuddling and watching cool indie films. Which STBXH did not appreciate or even like. His idea was popping in 500 Days of Summer, tucking me in bed, then bailing on me.

Ellejay posted 3/13/2014 16:11 PM

I miss the ability to trust
I miss cuddles
I miss our evening talks on the verandah as the sun sets
I miss the man I thought I had married
I miss seeing him be a dad to our kids
I miss not being able to tell him about my day
I miss the community he destroyed
I miss the home that we built and where I raised my kids
I miss just being a family
I miss not even being able to give him a hug on our son's wedding day.
I miss the ME that was and the US that will never be again.

I don't miss the disrespect, narcissism and betrayal and lies.

We will be whole again.

EJ

Lonelygirl10 posted 3/13/2014 16:19 PM

I would miss all the other stuff, too. When my car breaks down, he is there for me. I won't have that any longer. That is scary to me because I know nothing about car mechanics. Who is going to mow the lawn? ME?? WTF??

You can hire men for that My grass man comes every two weeks without me even having to call him. And when my car had problems, I was surprised at how many male friends volunteered to help out.

I miss back rubs. My back is always sore now. I suppose I could go pay for a massage, but it's just not the same thing.

SBB posted 3/13/2014 18:14 PM

I miss waking up with a lump in my back. I'd always wake up smiling.

I do miss the "remember when" talk about the girls. Not that he was there for most of them.

Vulcanized posted 3/13/2014 18:53 PM

I miss not being cynical & jaded.

Thanks, dickhead.

He can miss my fine ass forever.